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Stokes's Bristol Nightclub incident in detail (From: The Comeback Summer by Geoff Lemon)
IF YOU’RE LOOKING for a place where misadventure could begin, you can’t go past Mbargo. The nightclub’s streetfront is painted a purple so bright you’ll see it in your dreams. Strings of giant sequins shimmer in the breeze. Its phonically inventive name is spelt in silver letters that climb its three-storey terrace facade. Inside are strips of burning neon, a few booths, floorboards so marinated in drink that they have an ingredients list. Bristol is a student city on England’s south coast crowded with music and nightlife and street art. This is Banksy’s home town, and the tourism board suggests in rather strong terms that ‘you would be a fool not to see his amazing work firsthand’. The same organisation describes Mbargo as ‘intimate’, which is fair for a place where you can catch an STI standing up. Students cram into its modest dimensions while people with names like DJ Klaud battle for billing with £1.50 drink deals over seven sloppy nights a week. To get a sense of the story about to come, consider that it’s the kind of place open until two o’clock on a Monday morning, and that at two o’clock on a Monday morning, Ben Stokes still thought it had closed too early. The Ashes of 2017–18 had disciplinary bookends. It was after that series that Australia’s two leaders went off the rails in South Africa. It was a few weeks before that Ashes tour that England’s biggest star windmilled his way into his own disaster. In the early hours of 25 September 2017, Stokes and teammate Alex Hales were barred from re-entering Mbargo after a night out on the piss. A Sunday thrashing of an abject West Indies in an ignored series at the fag-end of the season apparently required ample celebration. After arguing with the bouncer and hanging about at the door for a while, they wandered off to find a casino in the hope of more drinking. They’d barely made it around the corner before getting in the middle of a conflict between four locals. As is said on the internet, it escalated quickly. The 26 September reporting was bloodless. Withholding names, police stated that a man ‘was arrested on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm’ while another went to hospital with facial injuries. England’s director of cricket Andrew Strauss separately confirmed that Stokes was the arrestee, adding that he had been released without charge and that Hales had gamely offered to ‘help police with their enquiries’. Administrators had a good chance of hiding behind that investigation, and the next day Stokes was named in the upcoming Ashes squad as expected. But that night the video emerged. Bristol student Max Wilson had shot it on his phone, then offered it to The Sun. What he thought was playing hardball was actually lowball: his opening price of £3000 was snapped up by a tabloid that would have paid ten times that. The Sun went on to make a mint by syndicating the rights worldwide. From a window above the fray, the vision showed six men on the street below performing the muddled choreography of a melee. One was right at the centre of it. One was waving a bottle, one dipped in and out, one tried to calm it. Two others floated around the edges. The central figure was unmistakable: red hair burning even in the streetlight as he launched into a series of blows against two of the men, falling to grapple with them on the ground, then following both across the street, swinging punches the whole way. Hales trailed behind, repeatedly and impotently shouting ‘Stokes! Stop! Stokes! Enough!’ The ECB could fudge issues that existed only in thickets of legalese, but not those captured in moving colour. Stokes was stood down from the next West Indies match, then suspended indefinitely. It emerged that he had broken his hand during the fight, something he’d done twice before while punching objects in dressing rooms. The response in Australia was fierce: Stokes was a thug, a lowlife, a selection that would disgrace England. It was not entirely coincidental that a ban for England’s best player would be handy for the Aussie team, but there was also a cultural split. In England, plenty of people still minimise pub fights as lads letting off steam. In Australia, heavy media coverage as a succession of young men were killed had inverted that tolerance. The discourse now saw any punch as potentially deadly and accordingly reckless. This was more poignant in a cricket context given that David Hookes, the dashing Test batsman and state coach, was killed in 2004 by a pub bouncer’s fist. The PR situation was bad for Stokes as details emerged of the injuries to the men he’d hit, and that one was a young war veteran and father. Stokes wasn’t officially removed from the Ashes squad through October but stayed behind when his teammates left, hoping for police to dismiss the matter in time for a late dash to Australia. His annual contract was renewed on the due date in case that came to pass. Then 29 October brought a twist in the tale. ‘Ben Stokes praised by gay couple after defending them from homophobic thugs,’ ran the headline. Kai Barry and Billy O’Connell had emerged. Not entirely out of nowhere: while Stokes had made no public comment, this story in his defence had initially been leaked to TV host Piers Morgan after the fight, as soon as the video appeared. Police body-camera footage played in court would later show that Stokes had given the same story to the arresting officer on the night. But no-one knew the identities of the fifth and sixth men in the video, and police appeals had turned up nothing. It was The Sun again with the breakthrough. Kai and Billy were perfect for a readership not keen on nuance. ‘We couldn’t believe it when we found out they were famous cricketers. I just thought Ben and Alex were quite hot, fit guys,’ said Kai, who was memorably described as a ‘former House of Fraser sales assistant’. The paper had the pair do a full photo shoot: layering the fake tan, showing off chest waxes, mixing Ralph Lauren and Louis Vuitton into a range of outfits. Their best shot had them standing back to back, heads turned to the camera, in a mirror-image Zoolander moment. Suddenly The Sun was the England team’s best friend. ‘Their claims could lead to the all-rounder being cleared over the punch-up and freed to play in the First Test in Australia next month,’ it gushed, then gave a tasting platter of quotes: ‘We were so grateful to Ben for stepping in to help. He was a real hero.’ ‘If Ben hadn’t intervened it could have been a lot worse for us.’ ‘We could’ve been in real trouble. Ben was a real gentleman.’ Would it be known forever as Kai and Billy’s Ashes? No. While the Bristol boys provided spin for Stokes’ reputation they didn’t influence the police. With charges still pending there was little choice – not given Strauss had previously sacked Kevin Pietersen for being annoying. Stokes remained suspended through the Ashes and a one-day series in Australia, and lost the vice-captaincy. It was January 2018 before the Crown Prosecution Service laid a charge. That charge surprisingly came in as affray, a crime that can carry prison time but is classified as ‘a breach of the peace as a result of disorderly conduct’. The men he had punched, Ryan Ali and Ryan Hale, faced the same count, charged as equal participants in a fight rather than Stokes being charged with assaulting them. Alex Hales was not charged, despite being seen in the video to aim several kicks when Ryan Ali was lying on the ground. Given the underwhelming standing of the offence, Stokes was cleared by the ECB to tour New Zealand, and kept playing until his trial in August 2018, which he missed a Test to attend. None of the three defendants would be convicted. The reasoning behind the charges was never released and was attributed vaguely to ‘CPS lawyers’. The service gave the case to Alison Morgan, a prosecutor of a class known as Treasury Counsel who usually handle serious criminal matters. Morgan had a scheduling clash and never ended up court for the case, but in 2018 and 2019 she would go on to win damages and admissions of libel from The Daily Mail, The Times and The Daily Telegraph variously for incorrectly reporting that she had been responsible for the inadequate and inconsistent charging decisions. Morgan’s successor on the case was Nicholas Corsellis QC, who on the first day of trial was permitted by the CPS to request two assault charges be added against Stokes. ‘Upon further review,’ claimed a CPS statement, ‘we considered that additional assault charges would also be appropriate.’ This was patent nonsense from the service that eight months earlier had chosen the lesser charge. Any lawyer knows that no judge will allow new charges once a trial has begun, because the defence hasn’t had time to prepare. But such a request could deflect criticism of the prosecution service by technically making the judge the one who disallows the charge. Working through the story from the trial and the tape is complicated. You had a Ryan and a Ryan, a Hale and a Hales, a Billy and a Barry and a Ben. You had several versions of events as to who knew whom, who was drinking with whom, who had insulted whom and who had merely engaged in ‘banter’, a word that in modern Britain has to do an unconscionable amount of lifting. The reporting had constantly mixed up the Ryans as to who had which injury, who was in hospital, who had played which part in the fight, and whose mum had which stern words to say about it. Let’s agree that from now Ryan Ali is Ryan One, the firefighter who ended up with a fractured eye socket and a cracked tooth. Ryan Two can be Ryan Hale, the soldier who scored concussion and facial lacerations. Mr Barry and Mr O’Connell are best known per The Sun as Kai and Billy. In scorecard parlance we’ll leave the cricketers as Stokes and Hales. Amid the confusion, Stokes and his lawyers built his case in a straightforward way. The UK legal definition of affray is ‘if a person threatens or uses unlawful violence or force towards another person, which causes another person of reasonable firmness present at the scene to fear for their safety’. That means it doesn’t account for violence that harms a target, but violence that might frighten a theoretical bystander. The wiggle room for Stokes was with ‘unlawful’, because the charge excuses violence in defending oneself or others. This interpretation hinged on the beginning of the video, where Ryan One waves a beer bottle about and takes a swing at Kai. The version from Stokes was that he was minding his own business walking down the street when he heard homophobic abuse. He intervened verbally and was threatened verbally by Ryan One – something that Ryan One denied but that couldn’t be proved or disproved. In fear for his safety Stokes had to nullify that threat by bashing Ryan One before it went the other way. He registered Ryan Two in his peripheral vision as another possible threat, and again had only one recourse. Stokes also had to convince the jury to disregard testimony from Mbargo’s bouncer that he had been looking for a fight. A solid lump of a man, Andrew Cunningham had not enjoyed his patron’s attempts to get back into the club after the bouncer declined an offer of a bribe. ‘He got a bit verbally abusive towards myself. He mentioned my gold teeth and he said I looked like a cunt and I replied, “Thank you very much.” He just looked at me and told me my tattoos were shit and to look at my job.’ Cunningham described these words as coming in ‘a spiteful tone, quite an angry tone’, and said that Stokes still seemed angry as he walked away. These were details the doorman had nothing to gain by inventing, but each of them Stokes denied. By his own accounting he had drunk a beer at the game and three pints at his hotel, then ‘potentially had some Jägerbombs’ along with half a dozen vodkas at the club. He insisted that after all of this he was not drunk. If I may take a moment here to call upon the wisdom of experience – a person who cannot definitively say whether they have had any Jägerbombs has definitely had some Jägerbombs. A Jägerbomb is an experience that does not pass one by. Further to that, a person who says they have ‘potentially’ done something has definitely done that thing and doesn’t want to admit it. A person who has had between 15 and 24 standard drinks in one evening is shitfaced. A person who tries to bribe a bouncer £300 – three hundred quid! – to get into Mbargo – Mbargo! – is beyond shitfaced. If Stokes admitted that he was drunk then the prosecution could say he was out of control. He claimed clear recall of assessing a threat, feeling fear and deciding to protect himself with force. He confidently denied details from the bouncer’s testimony, like using the word ‘cunt’ or mentioning gold teeth. Yet on other details he claimed a ‘significant memory blackout’. He didn’t remember the punch that saw Ryan One taken away by ambulance. He didn’t remember what the Ryans had said to Kai and Billy, only that those words were homophobic. With no head injury, as one of the few people who hadn’t been hit, he had supposedly suffered this memory loss despite being sober. The version from Kai and Billy was compatible but vague: they had been walking along, they ‘heard … shouts’ of abuse from an unspecified source, then Stokes ‘stepped in’ and thus they avoided possible harm. They claimed to have been bought a drink by Stokes at Mbargo, although CCTV showed them meeting outside. The overall implication from both accounts was that the cricketers had been pals with Kai and Billy, while the Ryans as per The Sun’s headline were a roving band of thugs. The reality though is that the Ryans were the ones hanging out with Kai and Billy at Mbargo. Police discussed CCTV from inside the club in questioning and at trial. On that footage the four Bristolians bought drinks for one another, danced together, and Kai was noted to have variously touched Ryan Two’s crotch and Ryan One’s buttock. Ryan One told police that all of this was taken lightheartedly and wasn’t a problem. Indeed, when the Ryans called it a night the other two left with them. This much is clear from footage out the front of Mbargo, which shows Kai and Billy exit the club and start talking with a subdued Hales and a demonstrative Stokes, who are stuck outside. The vision was played in court to determine whether Stokes was antagonistic towards Kai and Billy, as he appears to impersonate them and to throw a lit cigarette their way. More interesting is that after a few minutes the Ryans emerge, and all six actors in the fight video briefly form a prequel in the one frame. Ryan Two pats Billy on the chest in friendly fashion with his right hand before clapping him on the back with his left. He moves past and does the same to Kai before leaving the shot. Ryan One stops to speak to Kai. They lean in for a moment, talking, then Kai turns and they walk out of frame together. Billy hangs around for a few seconds at the door and then looks after them and races to catch up. Stokes and Hales remain outside the club to remonstrate further with the bouncers. Whatever discord develops around the corner is between four men who left amicably together minutes earlier. There’s no way to know what caused that friction. If Ryan One did use homophobic slurs, he might have been drunkenly obnoxious for no reason. He might have had an insecure macho response to some extra flirtation. He might have thought unkindness was funny – ‘banter’ once again. Or he might have said something that was misunderstood, as both Ryans insisted in court that they had not used nor had the impulse to use any abusive language. What clearly didn’t happen was an attack by bigots on random passers-by. This kind of crime is regular enough that an audience understands the horror of it, and this is what was evoked by the public accounts of Stokes, Billy and Kai. All we know is that there was some verbal dispute among the Bristol locals, and that Stokes came along behind them and put himself in the middle of it. Ryan One responded to the interference aggressively and away they went. There are plenty of reasons to look sideways at the idea that Stokes was a saviour. Foremost, neither Kai nor Billy was called upon as witnesses in court. You’d think it would be ideal to have Stokes’ story backed up by those who benefited from his selflessness. But his defence team had developed the impression that the pair had shown a changeable recall of events amid a hard-partying lifestyle, and would be dismantled by the prosecution on the stand. That raises the question of whether The Sun coached their quotes for the 2017 interview. Despite missing court, Kai and Billy clearly enjoyed the attention. In 2018 after the trial they did a follow-up spread in the same paper about how poor Ben had been mistreated. They got a television spot on Good Morning Britain and glowed about his heroism. In 2019 The Sun wheeled them out once more to say that Stokes should get a knighthood. In 2017 they had ‘never watched cricket’ but by 2019 were supposedly volunteering sentences like, ‘He saved us, now he’s saved the Ashes.’ Whether they were paid for these appearances is not known, but the chance to be famous for a day can be lure enough. If you find this cynical, consider that on the night in question, the Bristol boys were so deeply moved and thankful for Ben’s intervention that they left him to be arrested and never attempted to find out who he was. Seconds after the video ended, an off-duty policeman reached the scene. You might think that someone grateful to a saviour would speak on his behalf. Instead, said Kai, ‘it all got a bit scary so we walked off. It was too much for me and we went to Quigley’s takeaway for chicken burgers and cheesy chips.’ They didn’t give their hero a thought for over a month while police issued multiple appeals for witnesses. As for Stokes, he told his arresting officer that ‘his friends’ had been attacked. After three minutes of chat outside a nightclub, these friends were so dear to him that he has never contacted them again: not after the newspaper piece, not after the verdict. He didn’t want to see how they were or thank them for their support. He didn’t mention them by name in his solicitor’s statement after the trial. The Stokes defence rested on Ryan One’s bottle, which he had carried out of Mbargo to finish a beer, not to use in a Sharks versus Jets amateur production. But once he turned it over to hold it by the neck it became a weapon. Intent and interpretation can change the material nature of things. Part of Stokes’ justification in court was that the bottle implied that the two Ryans might have ‘other weapons’ hidden away. You can understand how a jury could decide that created doubt. Not being convicted, though, doesn’t give the contents of the video a big green tick. It does not, as his lawyer claimed, vindicate Stokes. Looking in detail, Ryan One is belligerent but his movements telegraph a bluff. Hales is the person he’s gesturing at, but they’re several metres apart when Ryan One cocks his arm ostentatiously, showing off the bottle rather than bracing to swing. He skips forward but Hales skips back and Ryan One doesn’t follow. Kai stretches out an arm to impede Ryan One, who has a drunken stumble, nearly eats pavement, then staggers towards Kai and hits him in the back. That hand is still holding the bottle, but his strike is a side-arm cuff on a soft part of the body. It’s all pretty tame. This is where Stokes gets involved. Having moved across to protect Hales, he now takes three large steps to run around Kai and booms his first punch at Ryan One. They fall to the ground and the bottle clinks away. Stokes gets to his feet to punch down at the fallen man, while Hales arrives to kick him ineffectively then runs off across the street for some unknown reason. Ice-cream van? Stokes is soon back in the grapple having his shirt pulled up to show off his Durham tan. Ryan Two steps in for the first time to pull Stokes away, prompting a couple more random punches at this new target, then Stokes trips backwards over Ryan One and sprawls in the street. Hales chooses this moment to return and aim some solid kicks at the head of the man on the ground. Nothing so far is a triumph of moral philosophy or the pugilistic arts. But if it all stopped here, perhaps you could say it was somewhere approaching fair. Ryan One has behaved like a turnip and it’s not an entirely unjust world that would give him a whack across the chops. The antagonists have disentangled, Stokes has some distance, it’s time to dust off and go home. Ryan Two steps forward for this purpose with his palm raised in conciliatory style and says, ‘Settle down, stop.’ So Stokes punches him. It’s roughly his fifth punch overall, and he really winds up into this one. He misses so hard that he stumbles away into the shadows of the shop awnings along the road. Hales starts shouting for him to stop. Ryan Two backs into the street, still holding his palm up. Stokes closes on him from about five metres away, six large steps, to where Ryan Two is standing on his own. Stokes pushes him a couple of times, as Ryan Two keeps trying to placate him and saying ‘Stop.’ Stokes throws his sixth punch, largely missing as his target ducks. Ryan Two keeps pulling away and reversing, into the middle of the street now. Stokes follows him, grabbing his sleeve to drag him back. By this point Ryan One has found his feet and walked around behind his friend. Both of them are in the same line of sight for Stokes, and both are backing away. Stokes aims his seventh and his eighth punches, which Ryan Two tries to deflect, as Hales walks up behind Stokes to grab him. Stokes yanks away from his friend and switches to Ryan One instead, taking seven paces to grab him before throwing his ninth punch of the night. He grabs again; Ryan One blocks that arm and pushes himself back away from Stokes. Ryan Two again intercedes, putting himself between the two with his palms up and his arm extended. Stokes throws his tenth punch, a right-hander at the face of Ryan Two, then shoves him backwards. Ryan Two backs away once more, four paces. Stokes follows, steadies, lines up, then launches his strongest punch yet, his eleventh, a proper right hook from a solid base, one that cracks across the man’s head and gives him concussion. Ryan Two ends up flat on his back in the middle of the street, his hands still outstretched for a moment in useless protest until they twitch and drop to the blacktop. Stokes isn’t done. He once more shoves away the restraining Hales and follows Ryan One, who keeps backing away saying, ‘Alright, alright, alright.’ Five more paces from Stokes before another blow at the man’s head. Kai and Billy are now standing over the poleaxed Ryan Two. The video ends, but seconds later Stokes will punch Ryan One hard enough to knock him out too, before off-duty cop Andrew Spure arrives on the scene to bring down the curtain. When the body-camera footage kicks in some minutes later, Stokes is in handcuffs but Ryan One is still laid out in the street. Ryan Two has regained consciousness, folded his shirt under his friend’s head and is asking police for an ambulance. ‘At this point, I felt vulnerable and frightened. I was concerned for myself and others.’ This was how Stokes described that sequence to the court. An elite athlete with years of gym work and training to snap a bat through the line of a ball with astounding power and precision, swinging fists as hard as he can at men with none of those advantages. Punching so hard that he breaks his hand, and repeatedly shoving away a friend so he can punch some more. Frightened and threatened by two targets shouting ‘Get back!’ and ‘Stop!’ The off-duty officer testified that Stokes ‘seemed to be the main aggressor or was progressing forward trying to get to’ Ryan One, who was ‘trying to back away or get away from the situation’. The student who filmed the video can be heard on the tape at one stage exclaiming ‘Fuck!’ and testified that it was because ‘I felt a little bit sorry about the lad that had been punched and it looked like he had his hands up’. That tallied with the prosecutor’s depiction of ‘a sustained episode of significant violence that left onlookers shocked at what was taking place’. The defendant stuck to his strategy. ‘No, my sole focus was to protect myself.’ All up, in the 33 seconds of footage after he falls over, Stokes takes 35 steps forward to keep hitting two men who keep trying to get away. Not once is he hit back. After the verdict, Stokes’ solicitor positioned him as the victim. It had been ‘an eleven-month ordeal for Ben … The jury’s decision fairly reflects the truth of what happened that night … He was minding his own business … It was only when others came under threat that Ben became physically engaged. The steps that he took were solely aimed at ensuring the safety of himself and the others present …’ The statement was impossibly self-righteous and self-absorbed. If there was anyone to feel sorry for it was Ryan Hale, the second of our two Ryans. He’s the one who emerged from the club with a friendly arm around the shoulder for Kai and Billy. He’s the one who interposed himself to end the fight, then kept putting himself back in the firing line, trying to calm an intimidating stranger while dodging blows. For his show of restraint he got laid out regardless, concussed in the street, then was issued a criminal charge equal to that of the man who hit him, and described in national media as a violent bigot in an untested story to support that man’s defence. Lawyers for Ryan Two made a more convincing post-trial statement, noting that Kai and Billy, ‘neither of whom were relied upon by the prosecution or the defence team for Mr Stokes, have taken the opportunity to speak with various media outlets about the alleged homophobic abuse that they received in the early hours of September 25. Mr Hale has passionately denied this allegation throughout the course of this case,’ it continued. ‘It is upsetting to Mr Hale that although he was acquitted, the accusation that he was the author of such abuse remains. Both Mr Hale and Mr Ali were knocked unconscious by Mr Stokes, and although Mr Stokes has been acquitted of an affray, Mr Hale struggles with the reasons why the Crown Prosecution Service did not treat him as a victim of an unlawful assault.’Good question. Avon and Somerset police were the investigating force, and they were frustrated by the decision. Ryan Two was filmed clearly not hurting anyone, but police were instructed by the CPS to proceed with a charge. Hales (the cricketer) was filmed fighting but ‘a decision was made at a senior level of the CPS’ not to proceed. Police expected Stokes to be charged with assault but the CPS declined. It doesn’t take a wild cynic to think that placing the same lukewarm charge on three men for vastly divergent behaviour might ensure that none would be convicted, even as the trial would maintain the pretence that a defendant of influential standing had not been given a free pass. A couple of years down the line, the original interview with Kai and Billy has disappeared. All traces have been scrubbed from The Sun website, its social media history, and even from the Wayback Machine internet archive. Given its headline of ‘homophobic thugs’ and text that names Ryan Two but not Ryan One, the libel liability isn’t hard to spot. Later interviews with Kai and Billy take the passive voice – they ‘suffered homophobic slurs outside a Bristol nightclub’. The article that was once claimed to exonerate brave Ben Stokes now links only to a missing content page, with a picture of a dropped ice-cream cone and the phrase ‘legal removal’ inserted into the web URL. In terms of consequences, Stokes missed one tour. When he resumed his career in January 2018, the Australians hadn’t yet ruined theirs. Their year-long bans looked much more stringent. But the Stokes case dragged on in other ways. With no criminal liability, the Australians confessed promptly enough for the sporting world to give them the full length of the lash. Their situation was ugly but there was closure. Stokes got stuck in legal stasis, unable to be fully backed or condemned. Instead his issue was always present, a browser full of open tabs that the ECB swore they would read any day now. Through 2018 Stokes was back but he wasn’t back, in the sunglasses and finger-guns sense. In his return one-day series he nearly cost England a match with 39 from 73 balls in Wellington. His first Test hit was a duck as England got rolled in Auckland for 58. At Trent Bridge while Stokes was injured, England posted a world record 481 against Australia. With Stokes three weeks later at the same ground they made 268. He crawled to 50 from 103, the second-slowest any Englishman had reached that milestone in 20 years. That span covered Alastair Cook’s whole career. It was apologetic batting, acting out responsibility via the scorecard. Stokes was creeping back into the team like he’d been kicked out in a blazing row and was hoping to tip-toe to the sofa. It was December 2018 before the ECB disciplinary committee ruled on him and Hales. In a ‘remarkable coincidence’, wrote Simon Heffer in The Telegraph, ‘the punishment both players faced in terms of bans from playing at international level was covered by the amount of games they had already missed when dropped by England’s selectors, in the furore that followed the incident’. The verdict compounded the omissions around the case by not addressing the violence at its heart. Nor did Stokes, apologising only ‘to my team-mates, coaches and support staff’, and then ‘to England supporters and to the public for bringing the game into disrepute’. The implicit next step was to rebuild that reputation. It might have been easier had his court defence not meant that he wasn’t game to admit any fault at all. It might have been easier if he or his advisers had been willing to change tack once the trial was done. Imagine a world where Stokes had stood outside court and apologised for overreacting, for the injuries he’d caused, and for the time and energy he had sucked out of other people’s lives. That would have been a show of responsibility beyond a scorecard. When the time came around to assess forgiveness, it might have meant forgiveness was deserved.
Victoria records 3 new local cases and 0 new overseas cases
New cases reported in the last 24 hours
+3 new local cases:
All three of the locally acquired cases in the community have been identified as primary close contacts of the existing cases in the Mentone and Mitcham clusters.
There are now exposure sites in Albert Park, Bairnsdale, Black Rock, Box Hill South, Brighton, Camberwell, Cape Schank, Caufield, Cheltenham, Doveton, Forest Hill, Fountain Gate Shopping Centre, Hallam, Glen Waverley, Lakes Entrance, Leongatha, Mentone, Mordialloc, Melbourne CBD, Moorabbin, Mount Waverley, Oakleigh, Southbank, and Wonthaggi and we expect this list of exposure site to increase over coming days as contact tracing continues
+0 new overseas cases.
Recap from yesterday:
All 18 of the locally acquired cases in the community have been identified as primary close contacts to the existing cases in the Mentone and Mitcham clusters.
Genomic sequencing results have been received from the samples from the Victorian outbreak, and it has established they are directly linked to the New South Wales cluster.
There are now exposure sites in Black Rock, Brighton, Cape Schank, Cheltenham, Doveton, Forest Hill, Fountain Gate Shopping Centre, Hallam, Glen Waverley, Lakes Entrance, Leongatha, Mentone, Mordialloc, Melbourne CBD, Moorabbin, Mount Waverley, Oakleigh, Southbank, and Wonthaggi and this list of exposure site will increase over coming days as contact tracing continues.
⚠️ There are new case exposure sites, please see information below.
Huge thanks to u/chessc for the summary: Jacinta Allan:
32 active cases
3 new local cases - all linked to Thai cafe cluster
0 new overseas cases
190 testing sites operational in Victoria
Sites open from 8am to 8pm
88% of people receive test results within 24 hours
99.9% of people receive results within 48 hours
All Victorians who have returned from NSW have received text message alert with instructions specific to their circumstances
Allen Cheng:
21 total cases in Thai cafe cluster
Haven't found the source but are investigating several avenues
All genomic testing results (from 10 people) show link to NSW outbreak
220 close contacts in isolation
359 secondary contacts
Expecting more close contacts to test positive in coming weeks
All transmissions so far are at the Thai cafe or in family gatherings
Jeroen Weimar:
DHHS website has details of all testing sites open
35% increase in tests in the south-eastern suburbs yesterday
51 exposure sites listed on website
60,000 people came home from NSW to Victoria on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day
People who are still in NSW and have an urgent need to return to Victoria: exemptions applications are being triaged and will take at least 24 hours to process
Cases to date
Last 24 hours
TOTAL
Confirmed cases
+3
20,391
Active
+3
32
Recovered
+0
19,538
Deaths
+0
820
Community transmission
+0
3,762
Test results received
+22,477
3,929,815
Hospital
+0
0
Active cases breakdown
Last 24 hours
TOTAL
TOTAL
+3
32
Locally acquired
+3
21
Overseas
+0
11
Currently in quarantine (as at 11pm on the 02/01)
Type of resident
In quarantine hotel TOTAL
In health/complex care hotels TOTAL
TOTAL
2,225
145
Returned overseas traveller
1,929
130
Airline crew
69
2
Community*
206
7
Frontline worker
3
0
Voluntary support person
1
6
*includes interstate travellers.
⚠️Case alerts – public exposure sites⚠️
Some points to note:
Please read the pinned stickied note within this post.
If you have visited any of the locations listed in the table below during the date and time indicated you mustget testedimmediately and quarantine for 14 days from the exposure.
Location
Site
Exposure period
Notes
Abbotsford
Bodriggy Brewing Company 245 Johnston Street, Abbotsford VIC 3067
28/12/20 2:50pm-5:30pm
Case dined at venue
Black Rock
Smile Buffalo Thai restaurant 305 Beach Road, Black Rock VIC 3193
21/12/20 7:30pm-9:30pm
Case dined in restaurant
Black Rock
Smile Buffalo Thai restaurant 305 Beach Road, Black Rock VIC 3193
21/12/20 6:30pm-9:40pm
Case dined in restaurant
Black Rock
Smile Buffalo Thai restaurant 305 Beach Road, Black Rock VIC 3193
27/12/20 7.30pm - 9pm
Case dined for dinner
Brighton
Royal Brighton Yacht Club - outdoor dining 253 Esplanade, Brighton VIC 3186
29/12/20 12:00pm-2:00pm
Case dined in outdoor restaurant
Docklands
Melbourne Boat Hire - Yarra River Cruise. 45 Newquay Promenade, Docklands VIC 3008
28/12/2020 11.26am-2:00pm
Case attended venue
Doveton
Holy Family Parish Doveton Catholic 100 Power Road, Doveton VIC 3177
26/12/20 4:00pm-6:00pm
Case attended Spanish Service
Glen Waverley
Village Century City 285-287 Springvale Road, Glen Waverley VIC 3150
28/12/20 2:45pm-5:30pm
Case attended Gold Class screening Wonder Woman 1984
McKinnon
Hotlocks By Rachael Hairdresser, 260 McKinnon Road, McKinnon VIC 3204
23/12/20 4:00pm-6:00pm
Case had hair cut in store
Melbourne
Fonda Mexican Flinders Lane 31 Flinders Lane Melbourne
29/12/20 6:00pm-7:30pm
Case attended restaurant
Melbourne
Melbourne Central Lion Hotel, 211 La Trobe Street
28/12/2020 10pm - 12.30am
Case attended venue
Melbourne
Left Bank Melbourne, 1 Southbank Blvd
25/12/20 12pm - 3pm
Case ate in store
Mordialloc
Woodlands Golf Club - club bar 109 White Street Mordialloc VIC 3195
23/12/20 12:30pm-1:30pm
Case attended club house bar
Mordialloc
Woodlands Golf Club - club bar 109 White Street Mordialloc VIC 3195
Viral fragments have been detected in a sample of wastewater taken from the inlet to the Lakes Entrance wastewater treatment plant on 29 December. The Department of Health and Human Services is urging anyone in the Lakes Entrance area with any coronavirus (COVID-19) symptoms, no matter how mild, to get tested and stay home until they receive their result. Bairnsdale Regional Health Services drive-through testing site is open from 9am to 5pm on New Year’s Day and over the weekend.
Class Trial 66: The Murder of Sonia Nevermind - Part 2: 2ndMIX
What if, like, there was an alternate universe where bears could beat the crap out of chimps? And it would be, just. Wow. The animal mind is really something else. A beary good buddy of mine the other day went hunting for elk out in the Pacific Northwest. Don't know why he couldn't keep a straight face. Might've been the DMT. Hey, Jamie! Pull that Trial thread up!
Truth Bullets
Monokuma File: Sonia - The victim of this case is Sonia Nevermind. She was found dead at the bottom of the middle of the Three Lakes between the Casino and Hotel Kumasutra. She died during night time. The cause of death is asphyxiation.
Winter Wear: The victim was found wearing generic winter clothes to stay warm such as a jacket, pants, and some gloves. In addition, instead of her trademark neck ribbon, the victim was found wearing a fluffy red neck scarf.
Sonia’s Shoes: Extensive scuffing marks on the back of the victim’s red high heels and tears on the back of her black leggings were discovered.
Sonia’s Scarf: Worn by the victim instead of her trademark neck ribbon. It has been wrapped to cover the victim’s neck. On a free end of the scarf, there is a small hole, and near it are traces of blood.
The Motive: For the first motive of this Killing Semester, Monokuma threatened that if a murder doesn’t happen in the next twenty-four hours, then he will make their parents forget they ever existed.
Emergency HVAC Maintenance: A malfunction in the outdoor HVAC system was detected some time in the afternoon, so Monokuma had to repair it overnight. He announced that temperatures in the Courtyard would drop from the normal 25 C (77 F) to -10 C (14 F) during the night. The system was reactivated to normal operation at 8 AM when Monokuma gave the morning announcement. All indoor areas maintained room temperature overnight. After maintenance, the outdoor temperature returned quickly to normal.
Free Access to the Labs: In the prologue to the Killing Semester, Monophanie announced to the class that all Research Labs at the Academy would be open and its doors kept unlocked 24 hours a day, allowing anyone free access to utilize them.
Wax Residue: Visible traces of black wax were found at the lower-level Plaza next to a bench adjacent to the TV post.
Letter to Gundham: Delivered to Gundham’s dorm room some time yesterday afternoon. It reads: “Gundham, I may have found a way to escape. Do not talk to me today. We are being watched and everyone is potentially dangerous. Meet me at 6:30 AM outside the Dormitory. -Sonia”
Letter to Sonia: Found on the victim’s person during the investigation. It was delivered to Sonia’s dorm room some time yesterday afternoon. It reads: “Sonia, I may have found a way to escape. Do not talk to me today. We are being watched and everyone is potentially dangerous. Meet me at midnight at the Shrine of Judgement at the lower level of the Courtyard. -Gundham”
Gundham’s Account - Sunrise: Gundham claims to have left the Student Dormitory at 6:25 AM this morning to meet with Sonia outside the Dormitory at 6:30.
Gundham’s Account - Sonia’s Corpse: Gundham further claims to have found the victim’s corpse at 7:00 AM lying on top of the middle of the frozen Three Lakes. He claims to have attempted to save her by walking onto the ice to extract her from the frozen lake, but in his attempt fell immediately through the ice and passed out to hypothermia shortly after exiting the lake.
Flattened Patch of Grass: During the investigation just after 9 AM, Gonta, with his extremely sharp vision, noticed that there was a small patch of flattened grass of approximate size 30 centimeters by 15 (12 inches by 6 inches) behind the TV stand at the lower-level Plaza. According to Gonta, taller grasses like those found in the Courtyard when flattened typically do not stand up until twelve hours have passed.
Rantaro’s Account: In the prologue to the Killing Semester, Rantaro went up to the Ultimate Survivor’s Lab in search of dossiers he prepared at an unknown prior time. Upon arrival, he discovered they were missing.
Sonia’s Belongings: Kazuichi was granted permission to search Sonia’s dorm room and her belongings during the investigation. Among other things, he found the last book she was reading, “Spooky People and Spookier Places,” which covers cults, the occult, and serial killers, as well as Sonia’s Monopad, which seems to have been there for some time as it has sunk into the mattress. You can read the book HERE.
Sonia’s Wristwatch - During the investigation, Sonia’s corpse was found wearing the watch on her left wrist. The watch seems to have been broken at some point: its hands are stuck, and turning the crown on the left side no longer changes the time. Monokuma assures the watch kept an accurate track of time up until it was broken. A visual is available in the Truth Bullet Supplements. .
Sonia’s Wristwatch Supplement - The watch is made by TIMELY, a Novoselic-based watchmaker. It is a simple yet expensive and luxurious golden watch with white clock hands and a rose-pink dial.
An Account of Wax Dolls: During Daily Life, Angie, Gonta, Kaede, Mahiru, Maki, Makoto, Rantaro, and Sayaka discovered lifelike wax doubles of each student hidden away in the Art Room closet. Knowledge of their existence was kept to themselves.
Hagakure’s Account: In his “deep memory clairvoyance,” Hagakure remembered that all watches made in Novoselic, in compliance with international standards, are by law required to place their crowns to the right side of the watch face.
Truth Bullet Supplements
* Click HERE to access all available and relevant Trial supplements, including visual aids.
Class Trial 66: The Murder of Sonia Nevermind - Part 1: 1stMIX
Let’s suppose, hypothetically, just for the sake of the argument, that you were in need of an explanation of the rules of the Class Trial. And, further, let’s assume that I am the one capable of providing you, in this hypothetical scenario, with such an explanation. It must, without a doubt, logically follow that this explanation would be summarized as “you all need to find out who murdered Sonia Nevermind.” Okay gang? The idea that it would amount to anything other than that is just silly. It’s just... wrong! Axioms don’t care about your attitudes!
Truth Bullets
Monokuma File: Sonia - The victim of this case is Sonia Nevermind. She was found dead at the bottom of the middle of the Three Lakes between the Casino and Hotel Kumasutra. She died during night time. The cause of death is asphyxiation.
Winter Wear: The victim was found wearing generic winter clothes to stay warm such as a jacket, pants, and some gloves. In addition, instead of her trademark neck ribbon, the victim was found wearing a fluffy red neck scarf.
Sonia’s Shoes: Extensive scuffing marks on the back of the victim’s red high heels and tears on the back of her black leggings were discovered.
Sonia’s Scarf: Worn by the victim instead of her trademark neck ribbon. It has been wrapped to cover the victim’s neck. On a free end of the scarf, there is a small hole, and near it are traces of blood.
The Motive: For the first motive of this Killing Semester, Monokuma threatened that if a murder doesn’t happen in the next twenty-four hours, then he will make their parents forget they ever existed.
Emergency HVAC Maintenance: A malfunction in the outdoor HVAC system was detected some time in the afternoon, so Monokuma had to repair it overnight. He announced that temperatures in the Courtyard would drop to -10 C (14 F) during the night. The system was reactivated to normal operation at 8 AM when Monokuma gave the morning announcement. All indoor areas maintained room temperature overnight.
Free Access to the Labs: In the prologue to the Killing Semester, Monophanie announced to the class that all Research Labs at the Academy would be open and its doors kept unlocked 24 hours a day, allowing anyone free access to utilize them.
Wax Residue: Visible traces of black wax were found at the lower-level Plaza next to a bench adjacent to the TV post.
Letter to Gundham: Delivered to Gundham’s dorm room some time yesterday afternoon. It reads: “Gundham, I may have found a way to escape. Do not talk to me today. We are being watched and everyone is potentially dangerous. Meet me at 6:30 AM outside the Dormitory. -Sonia”
Letter to Sonia: Found on the victim’s person during the investigation. It was delivered to Sonia’s dorm room some time yesterday afternoon. It reads: “Sonia, I may have found a way to escape. Do not talk to me today. We are being watched and everyone is potentially dangerous. Meet me at midnight at the Shrine of Judgement at the lower level of the Courtyard. -Gundham”
Gundham’s Account - Sunrise: Gundham claims to have left the Student Dormitory at 6:25 AM this morning to meet with Sonia at the Shrine of Judgement at 6:30.
Gundham’s Account - Sonia’s Corpse: Gundham further claims to have found the victim’s corpse at 7:00 AM lying on top of the middle of the frozen Three Lakes. He claims to have attempted to save her by walking onto the ice to extract her from the frozen lake, but in his attempt fell immediately through the ice and passed out to hypothermia shortly after exiting the lake.
Flattened Patch of Grass: During the investigation just after 9 AM, Gonta, with his extremely sharp vision, noticed that there was a small patch of flattened grass of approximate size 30 centimeters by 15 (12 inches by 6 inches) behind the TV stand at the lower-level Plaza. According to Gonta, taller grasses like those found in the Courtyard when flattened typically do not stand up until twelve hours have passed.
Sonia’s Belongings: Kazuichi was granted permission to search Sonia’s dorm room and her belongings during the investigation. Among other things, he found the last book she was reading, “Spooky People and Spookier Places,” which covers cults, the occult, and serial killers, as well as Sonia’s Monopad, which seems to have been there for some time as it has sunk into the mattress. You can read the book HERE.
Sonia’s Wristwatch - During the investigation, Sonia’s corpse was found wearing the watch on her left wrist. The watch seems to have been broken at some point: its hands are stuck, and turning the crown on the left side no longer changes the time. Monokuma assures the watch kept an accurate track of time up until it was broken. A visual is available in Supplements in the Summary Sheet (not yet up as of now) .
Sonia’s Wristwatch Supplement - The watch is made by TIMELY, a Novoselic-based watchmaker. It is a simple yet expensive and luxurious golden watch with white even-length clock hands and a rose-pink dial.
An Account of Wax Dolls: During Daily Life, Angie, Gonta, Kaede, Mahiru, Maki, Makoto, Rantaro, and Sayaka discovered lifelike wax doubles of each student hidden away in the Art Room closet. Knowledge of their existence was kept to themselves.
Rantaro’s Account: In the prologue to the Killing Semester, Rantaro went up to the Ultimate Survivor’s Lab in search of dossiers he prepared at an unknown prior time. Upon arrival, he discovered they were missing.
Click [HERE](LINK) to visit the Summary Sheet. (not posted as of now)
In the Summary Sheet, you can easily access alibis, catch up on key moments, and inspect materials supplementing the currently available Truth Bullets. The Trial has finally started! Let’s get this show on the road. You have seven days to solve this case (ends 12/24 at 1900 UTC-5, 12/25 0000 UTC). I may make comments here as the Trial progresses.
Class Trial 66: The Murder of Sonia Nevermind - Part 3: 3rdMIX
Physics, ciphers, and motives, oh my! I'm beary impressed. Divine intervention really is a mystery-solving tool!
Truth Bullets
Monokuma File: Sonia - The victim of this case is Sonia Nevermind. She was found dead at the bottom of the middle of the Three Lakes between the Casino and Hotel Kumasutra. She died during night time. The cause of death is asphyxiation.
Winter Wear: The victim was found wearing generic winter clothes to stay warm such as a jacket, pants, and some gloves. In addition, instead of her trademark neck ribbon, the victim was found wearing a fluffy red neck scarf.
Sonia’s Shoes: Extensive scuffing marks on the back of the victim’s red high heels and tears on the back of her black leggings were discovered.
Sonia’s Scarf: Worn by the victim instead of her trademark neck ribbon. It has been wrapped to cover the victim’s neck. On a free end of the scarf, there is a small hole, and near it are traces of blood.
The Motive: For the first motive of this Killing Semester, Monokuma threatened that if a murder doesn’t happen in the next twenty-four hours, then he will make their parents forget they ever existed.
Emergency HVAC Maintenance: A malfunction in the outdoor HVAC system was detected some time in the afternoon, so Monokuma had to repair it overnight. He announced that temperatures in the Courtyard would drop from the normal 25 C (77 F) to -10 C (14 F) during the night. The system was reactivated to normal operation at 8 AM when Monokuma gave the morning announcement. All indoor areas maintained room temperature overnight. After maintenance, the outdoor temperature returned quickly to normal.
Free Access to the Labs: In the prologue to the Killing Semester, Monophanie announced to the class that all Research Labs at the Academy would be open and its doors kept unlocked 24 hours a day, allowing anyone free access to utilize them.
Wax Residue: Visible traces of black wax were found at the lower-level Plaza next to a bench adjacent to the TV post.
Letter to Gundham: Delivered to Gundham’s dorm room some time yesterday afternoon. It reads: “Gundham, I may have found a way to escape. Do not talk to me today. We are being watched and everyone is potentially dangerous. Meet me at 6:30 AM outside the Dormitory. -Sonia”
Letter to Sonia: Found on the victim’s person during the investigation. It was delivered to Sonia’s dorm room some time yesterday afternoon. It reads: “Sonia, I may have found a way to escape. Do not talk to me today. We are being watched and everyone is potentially dangerous. Meet me at midnight at the Shrine of Judgement at the lower level of the Courtyard. -Gundham”
Gundham’s Account - Sunrise: Gundham claims to have left the Student Dormitory at 6:25 AM this morning to meet with Sonia outside the Dormitory at 6:30.
Gundham’s Account - Sonia’s Corpse: Gundham further claims to have found the victim’s corpse at 7:00 AM lying on top of the middle of the frozen Three Lakes. He claims to have attempted to save her by walking onto the ice to extract her from the frozen lake, but in his attempt fell immediately through the ice and passed out to hypothermia shortly after exiting the lake.
Flattened Patch of Grass: During the investigation just after 9 AM, Gonta, with his extremely sharp vision, noticed that there was a small patch of flattened grass of approximate size 30 centimeters by 15 (12 inches by 6 inches) behind the TV stand at the lower-level Plaza. According to Gonta, taller grasses like those found in the Courtyard when flattened typically do not stand up until twelve hours have passed.
Rantaro’s Account: In the prologue to the Killing Semester, Rantaro went up to the Ultimate Survivor’s Lab in search of dossiers he prepared at an unknown prior time. Upon arrival, he discovered they were missing.
Sonia’s Belongings: Kazuichi was granted permission to search Sonia’s dorm room and her belongings during the investigation. Among other things, he found the last book she was reading, “Spooky People and Spookier Places,” which covers cults, the occult, and serial killers, as well as Sonia’s Monopad, which seems to have been there for some time as it has sunk into the mattress. You can read the book HERE.
Sonia’s Wristwatch - During the investigation, Sonia’s corpse was found wearing the watch on her left wrist. The watch seems to have been broken at some point: its hands are stuck, and turning the crown on the left side no longer changes the time. Monokuma assures the watch kept an accurate track of time up until it was broken. A visual is available in the Truth Bullet Supplements. .
Sonia’s Wristwatch Supplement - The watch is made by TIMELY, a Novoselic-based watchmaker. It is a simple yet expensive and luxurious golden watch with white clock hands and a rose-pink dial.
An Account of Wax Dolls: During Daily Life, Angie, Gonta, Kaede, Mahiru, Maki, Makoto, Rantaro, and Sayaka discovered lifelike wax doubles of each student hidden away in the Art Room closet. Knowledge of their existence was kept to themselves.
Hagakure’s Account: In his “deep memory clairvoyance,” Hagakure remembered that all watches made in Novoselic, in compliance with international standards, are by law required to place their crowns to the right side of the watch face.
Autopsy Report: At the victim’s neck, there is a round hole approximately 50 millimeters (2 inches) wide that goes completely through. The victim’s larynx has been destroyed, and a mass of blood accumulated in the victim’s airways to totally restrict breathing after the hole was created. An estimated time of death cannot be produced.
Letter from an Accomplice: A letter found on Sonia’s person without a sender name or recipient. The sender claims to know the recipient’s secret and solicits their services to be an accomplice to whatever murder plot the recipient desires. The full text of the letter can be found in Supplements.
Secret Message: Upon counting the number of letters between each apostrophe in the Letter from an Accomplice and then turning that number into a letter (1=A, to 26=Z), the letter in secret reads “HIT ORDER. KILL SONIA. MIDNIGHT. DEUS SALVET.”
Autopsy Report Supplement: A limited chemical analysis reveals heightened levels of adrenaline prior to death, suggesting the death was not instantaneous. Further, no indications of a gunshot wound could be observed on the victim.
Motive Anti-Cheat (MAC): After the body was discovered, Monokuma met in private with Byakuya during the investigation. According to Monokuma, Byakuya didn’t act in the spirit of the motive and convinced someone else to kill by authoring all the letters involved in this murder. This renders Byakuya the sole accomplice to the murder. Subject to punishment, he may not reveal the blackened’s identity.
Truth Bullet Supplements
* Click HERE to access all available and relevant Trial supplements, including visual aids.
Class Trial 66: The Murder of Sonia Nevermind - Part 4: 4thMIX
Monokuma is now silent. There are no further tricks up his sleeve.
Truth Bullets
Monokuma File: Sonia - The victim of this case is Sonia Nevermind. She was found dead at the bottom of the middle of the Three Lakes between the Casino and Hotel Kumasutra. She died during night time. The cause of death is asphyxiation.
Winter Wear: The victim was found wearing generic winter clothes to stay warm such as a jacket, pants, and some gloves. In addition, instead of her trademark neck ribbon, the victim was found wearing a fluffy red neck scarf.
Sonia’s Shoes: Extensive scuffing marks on the back of the victim’s red high heels and tears on the back of her black leggings were discovered.
Sonia’s Scarf: Worn by the victim instead of her trademark neck ribbon. It has been wrapped to cover the victim’s neck. On a free end of the scarf, there is a small hole, and near it are traces of blood.
The Motive: For the first motive of this Killing Semester, Monokuma threatened that if a murder doesn’t happen in the next twenty-four hours, then he will make their parents forget they ever existed.
Emergency HVAC Maintenance: A malfunction in the outdoor HVAC system was detected some time in the afternoon, so Monokuma had to repair it overnight. He announced that temperatures in the Courtyard would drop from the normal 25 C (77 F) to -10 C (14 F) during the night. The system was reactivated to normal operation at 8 AM when Monokuma gave the morning announcement. All indoor areas maintained room temperature overnight. After maintenance, the outdoor temperature returned quickly to normal.
Free Access to the Labs: In the prologue to the Killing Semester, Monophanie announced to the class that all Research Labs at the Academy would be open and its doors kept unlocked 24 hours a day, allowing anyone free access to utilize them.
Wax Residue: Visible traces of black wax were found at the lower-level Plaza next to a bench adjacent to the TV post.
Letter to Gundham: Delivered to Gundham’s dorm room some time yesterday afternoon. It reads: “Gundham, I may have found a way to escape. Do not talk to me today. We are being watched and everyone is potentially dangerous. Meet me at 6:30 AM outside the Dormitory. -Sonia”
Letter to Sonia: Found on the victim’s person during the investigation. It was delivered to Sonia’s dorm room some time yesterday afternoon. It reads: “Sonia, I may have found a way to escape. Do not talk to me today. We are being watched and everyone is potentially dangerous. Meet me at midnight at the Shrine of Judgement at the lower level of the Courtyard. -Gundham”
Gundham’s Account - Sunrise: Gundham claims to have left the Student Dormitory at 6:25 AM this morning to meet with Sonia outside the Dormitory at 6:30.
Gundham’s Account - Sonia’s Corpse: Gundham further claims to have found the victim’s corpse at 7:00 AM lying on top of the middle of the frozen Three Lakes. He claims to have attempted to save her by walking onto the ice to extract her from the frozen lake, but in his attempt fell immediately through the ice and passed out to hypothermia shortly after exiting the lake.
Flattened Patch of Grass: During the investigation just after 9 AM, Gonta, with his extremely sharp vision, noticed that there was a small patch of flattened grass of approximate size 30 centimeters by 15 (12 inches by 6 inches) behind the TV stand at the lower-level Plaza. According to Gonta, taller grasses like those found in the Courtyard when flattened typically do not stand up until twelve hours have passed.
Rantaro’s Account: In the prologue to the Killing Semester, Rantaro went up to the Ultimate Survivor’s Lab in search of dossiers he prepared at an unknown prior time. Upon arrival, he discovered they were missing.
Sonia’s Belongings: Kazuichi was granted permission to search Sonia’s dorm room and her belongings during the investigation. Among other things, he found the last book she was reading, “Spooky People and Spookier Places,” which covers cults, the occult, and serial killers, as well as Sonia’s Monopad, which seems to have been there for some time as it has sunk into the mattress. You can read the book HERE.
Sonia’s Wristwatch - During the investigation, Sonia’s corpse was found wearing the watch on her left wrist. The watch seems to have been broken at some point: its hands are stuck, and turning the crown on the left side no longer changes the time. Monokuma assures the watch kept an accurate track of time up until it was broken. A visual is available in the Truth Bullet Supplements. .
Sonia’s Wristwatch Supplement - The watch is made by TIMELY, a Novoselic-based watchmaker. It is a simple yet expensive and luxurious golden watch with white clock hands and a rose-pink dial.
An Account of Wax Dolls: During Daily Life, Angie, Gonta, Kaede, Mahiru, Maki, Makoto, Rantaro, and Sayaka discovered lifelike wax doubles of each student hidden away in the Art Room closet. Knowledge of their existence was kept to themselves.
Hagakure’s Account: In his “deep memory clairvoyance,” Hagakure remembered that all watches made in Novoselic, in compliance with international standards, are by law required to place their crowns to the right side of the watch face.
Autopsy Report: At the victim’s neck, there is a round hole approximately 50 millimeters (2 inches) wide that goes completely through. The victim’s larynx has been destroyed, and a mass of blood accumulated in the victim’s airways to totally restrict breathing after the hole was created. An estimated time of death cannot be produced.
Letter from an Accomplice: A letter found on Sonia’s person without a sender name or recipient. The sender claims to know the recipient’s secret and solicits their services to be an accomplice to whatever murder plot the recipient desires. The full text of the letter can be found in Supplements.
Secret Message: Upon counting the number of letters between each apostrophe in the Letter from an Accomplice and then turning that number into a letter (1=A, to 26=Z), the letter in secret reads “HIT ORDER. KILL SONIA. MIDNIGHT. DEUS SALVET.”
Autopsy Report Supplement: A limited chemical analysis reveals heightened levels of adrenaline prior to death, suggesting the death was not instantaneous. Further, no indications of a gunshot wound could be observed on the victim.
Motive Anti-Cheat (MAC): After the body was discovered, Monokuma met in private with Byakuya during the investigation. According to Monokuma, Byakuya didn’t act in the spirit of the motive and convinced someone else to kill by authoring all the letters involved in this murder. This renders Byakuya the sole accomplice to the murder. Subject to punishment, he may not reveal the blackened’s identity.
Truth Bullet Supplements
* Click HERE to access all available and relevant Trial supplements, including visual aids.
[SWEDEN/EU] 1550+ decks, uncut sheets and other accessories, books and dvds. D&D, Blaine, Ellusionist, Gemini, KWP, Seasons, Stockholm17, Blue Crown, Virts, Theory 11, TWI, Vanda, Whispering Imps and many others!
THIS POST HAS BEEN FLAIRED AS UNAVAILABLE AND WILL BE LEFT HERE JUST AS A REFERENCE. ALL 15 DIFFERENT ORDERS YOU CAN SEE HERE WERE DELIVERED AND POSITIVE FEEDBACK GIVEN. ABOUT 15% OF THE ITEMS ON THE LIST HAVE BEEN SOLD. I WILL MAKE ANOTHER POST IN THE FUTURE WITH AN UPDATED LIST. CHEERS!
TL;DR:you can find the link for the decks and accessories list (and another link for a way less nicely formatted list of 100+ books about magic, sleight of hand and card tricks) at the end of this post. Feel free to rush there, get the decks names (or just books names and author in case you are also/only getting books) and respective items conditions (M, A, B or C - more on that later) and create a top-level comment with your list of wishes. Example:
Mint 2 Set (Blueberry, Cucumber, Frost, Foiled Frost) (M) Dynasty Jade Green (A) Smoke and Mirros V6 Rouge (M) Seasons Set (Verana, Inverno)(A) The Amazing Miracles of Shigeo Takagi - Richard Kaufman
After that,YOU MUST READ THE WHOLE POST.It is crucial you read the post and understand that, if you still want to go ahead with negotiations, you agree with the conditions I wrote. It is extremely important we are on the same page regarding this. I am here to try to sell cards, not to create an unnecessary mess because of miscommunication. It is absolutely fine if you don't agree with some condition, but all of this needs to be worked out before we proceed to payment stage. I hope no one minds too much me saying "hey, that information was available on the post" :) Note 1:DO NOT edit your top-level comment, if you want to add decks or subtract decks from your list answer to your own comment and we will go from there. I will have to prioritize non edited comments because that is the only reliable timestamp I have. Note 2: On the (now locked) post on playingcards there was only one instance of a deck many people wanted (the "Verum Videre Christmas Edition (Signed)"). I have been pming for the last few hours everybody who reserved decks there to come here again and make a top-level comment with what they have reserved, so I will only keep reservations done here and the waiting list for the "Verum Videre Christmas Edition (Signed)" as it stood there. Note 3: it goes without saying I reserve myself the right of not trading with or selling to anyone I don't want to, whatever the reason might be.
Hello there, everybody!
The day has finally come! After almost four months, the work on this list has come to an end. Quick shout-out to everybody who helped by checking prices, conditions of the decks, gathering information on the internet and with people in the industry, helping me coming up with clever solutions for Sheets automation and so on. Thank you all! Unfortunately for me, from now on this is basically a one man mission :) A lot of consideration went into deciding on how to do this, how to tackle a project this size. There are around 1550 decks and a few accessories all bundled up in, as it stands right now, 1350 different items (plus the books on the secondary list). So, who am I (regarding cards, that is)? I am a card collector based in the woods in Sweden (yeah, I live remote even for Swedish standards). Been collecting for two and a half years, worked in the casino industry as a dealer for quite some time (though I don't deal that frequently anymore I am more involved in logistics, inspecting and training) even with my "actual" profession being in a completely different field. I admin the only group of card collectors in Sweden on Facebook (trying to push fellow swedes to engage and participate a bit more - it was kind of a miracle we had a fairly successful Secret Santa last year haha) and been a contributor at Portfolio 52 basically since I started collecting (fixing tons of info and pictures there whenever I can and spot something). Also, because of circumstances, I ended up getting involved with some Kickstarter creators and still work with some of them on the background of their campaigns :)
The List!
I would like to believe all the relevant information is right there, easy to see, search and find. All the decks are listed in alphabetical order (company>deck name) and color coded differently by different company's name. There are individual entries for every single deck (i.e. 10 copies of lets say "Saturn Red October" will have 10 different entries) that is not bundled up (example: Ellusionist's Prohibition Case V1 is one "item" only even though it has six decks).
Shelf/Box | Item# | Deck/Set/Accessories | Company/Designer | Printer | Year | Price (USD) | Condition | Status
When you decided for something you want, specially if that item has copies of it (but also when it doesn't), it is essential that you also write down the condition (M, A, B or C - more on that later) of that item so I know which one exactly do you want. A bit of patience is required with it; it takes around five minutes for the published document to be update from the master list whenever I make a change (example: marking a deck as reserved or sold).
Available / Reserved / Sold!
Another thing that is very easy to see on the list is if a certain item is still available or if it has been reserved or sold already (check the "Status" column). How do you "reserve" an item? Just make a top-level comment bellow with the items names and condition (M, A, B, or C - more on that later) and you are good to go! In case someone has already reserved a item you want to reserve and there are no copies of it, you can still make a top-level comment saying "I want item X condition Y" and I will let you know you are on that item's waiting list, you don't need to do anything else. I am gonna give myself a buffer of two days from the time of posting this to see how things went and then start working on individual requests, pictures, etc. That doesn't mean I won't do that before two days, it is just so people don't expect it. During this time, whenever I am available, I will be answering things that are not on this post (this post will NOT be updated for transparency sake, I will make an addendum in the comments about anything that needs to be corrected) or any other questions you guys and girls might have about the decks, conditions, pricing, shipping, etc. After this period I will check all the wish lists and put them in order (first come, first served of course), and grind the data from there.
Pricing / Condition
This is literally a "BUYER BEWARE" section of this post, but first things first.
Pricing: as you will see, there many, many different items with prices lower than what it is being offered everywhere else on the internet, but there are also decks priced pretty competitively towards the market, and a few decks have a higher compared to other places. Are you free to make me an offer because you saw an item somewhere else for cheaper but you still want to buy it from me? Absolutely, but it won't be often this might go through. Am I open to trades? Absolutely, but then again, do not have high hopes for it. I am in no way expecting most of it to be sold in the coming one, or even two years. There will be a bunch of decks left after this, and that is ok. Also, everything is priced in USD.
Condition: big disclaimer here so this is as clear as it can possibly be: EVERYTHING BEING SOLD HERE (DECKS, SETS, ACCESSORIES AND BOOKS) ARE SOLD "AS IS". As per Wikipedia: "As is" denotes that the seller is selling, and the buyer is buying an item in whatever condition it presently exists, and that the buyer is accepting the item "with all faults", whether or not immediately apparent." There is no way to put this out without sounding like an ass (maybe?) but this needs to be understood by both you and me. Having said that, I have done all I could, to the best of my abilities, to condition every single item fairly, but of course this is still subjetive and it only represents the way I would see them. Basically the "M" decks are decks with no faults whatsoever (or nothing that I could possibly bother or notice to begin with), the "A" decks are minor imperfections I would not bother with even if it is a deck I had no intentions of opening it, "B" are decks I would probably contact the store / seller to talk about it, even if it was not my intention to request a refund (example: decks I would be opening anyway I still contact them but just to let them know and give some feedback) and "C" decks I would definitely contact the store / seller to know what could be done about it regarding some sort of compensation. On the list you will see four different letters representing the conditions of the decks (and the respective discounts to each):
M: Mint (base price). Some decks have no cellophane (signed, etc) or came with no seal but are still considered "M", it just depends on the condition of the tuck/cards.
A: Almost mint (10% discount). Minuscule dents, minor issues with the cellophane or with the seal or other minor issues with the tuck. Basically no possibility of damage to the cards.
B: Either bigger dents or issues or more quantities of minor dents or other issues. Very low possibility of damage to the cards.
C: Bigger damage to tuck. Possibility of damage to the cards.
This was not an easy (or fun) run at all. I considered everything I could regarding the condition of all the 1550 decks: dented corners, dented sides, pressed bottom, pressed top, pressed seal, opened, no cellophane, cellophane broken, cellophane opened, scratched, smudged edge, seal partially broken inside the cellophane, no seal, issues with the bottom or top flap, etc etc etc. As of now, these are the quantities of items with each condition (to a total of 1350 different items):
M: 993
A: 266
B: 80
C: 11
Obviously nobody wants to buy anything in the complete darkness, but neither could I take individual pictures of 1550+ decks and match each and everyone with the respective conditions (with the "free" time I have this would take years hahaha). Having said that, I will upon request (which might take some time but I am 100%, of course, willing to do so) take pictures of specific decks (matching condition/item#/etc). I made a small Imgur album with a few pictures of some of the decks and my username on it (please don't mind the mess of this new VERY OLD house with tons of renovation to be done we just moved in). Again, feel free to ask for additional info or pictures.
Shipping
It doesn't make it easier that one I live in Sweden and two I live in the middle of b$%f#&* nowhere in Sweden :) Basically the only shipping option I have here is Postnord, and I will absolutely not charge anything "a bit extra on top of shipping just to be sure but then people end up paying a bit more every time". If you want to have an idea of how much shipping would cost to you, go ahead and check Postnord's own website. Yet again, a lot of consideration went into this, and it is unfortunate but I have to say that I can not and won't be responsible for any lost packages or packages damaged during transportation, in any stage of it. The responsibility I am taking here is to agree on a price for items + shipping, pack everything in a way that the parcel could probably take a severe beating and the itens would still arrive on the same way they were shipped (I am talking hard boxes and unethical - I don't remember which redditor said this but I promised myself I would take it for a future use so here I am - amounts of bubble plastic, paper, tapes, boxes inside boxes like a good old matryoshka, etc). I have sent close to a hundred parcels on the last two and a half years (to Sweden, Europe, US, Taiwan, etc) and not ONCE a single deck arrived in a different condition they were shipped in. Depending on location and kind of parcel, Postnord offers some "sort of insurance" I can claim if a package gets lost or damage. We might talk about it if you are interested but I will only be able to refund any amount whatsoever after, and only if I am compensated by Postnord first.
Payment Methods
Making this as short as I possibly can: buyer is responsible for all and any fees from Transferwise or Paypal (or any other payment method we agree upon - Swish in Sweden but I think it will be hard to find someone here that is not part of "Svenska Kortlekssamlare" already). Transferwise you say? Yes, I use a lot of Transferwise. Why? Cheapest fees charged by a service that accepts Swedish Crowns and deposits it directly on my bank account. Works in most countries, worth checking them out. Does Transferwise has a buyer protection program like Paypal does? No, Transferwise, because I only use a personal account and not a traders account, has no buyer protection at all, whatsoever. It works like Paypal's Family and Friends, sort of. I am not sure I feel comfortable using that, do you understand me? Absolutely, if you don't feel comfortable using a service like Transferwise (even though it is cheaper for you and easier for me), you are free for us to TRY to work something else out (like Paypal), but you have to remember my responsibility here is to send the decks we agreed upon, for the price of items + shipping we agreed upon, and packed very, very well; yet again, I can not and won't be responsible for any lost packages or packages damaged during transportation, in any stage of it. If you rather use Paypal Family and Friends (I think inside Europe we don't pay fees to use that option but please someone correct me if I am wrong), you are also free to do so but ONLY if you understand what it entails and are comfortable with that. Remember: NO REFUNDS OR COMPENSATION FOR ITEMS DAMAGED OR LOST DURING TRANSPORTATION, IN ANY STAGE OF IT.
Final Considerations
Again, I think there is a lot of important and specific information here and because of that I won't edit this post for transparency sake. Any correction or new information will be posted in the comments. I will have to let pass all my English mistakes I am sure I made so please, bear with me :)
Portfolio 52 Profile: From now on I will be removing from this profile decks that have been SOLD (but not reserved) already. Remember this profile has only entries for different decks, but a lot (if not most of them) have more than one copy of each. Check the "Decks and Accessories" links above to see exactly what I still have in stock!
48 points: jesseaknight's comment in In the show St. Elsewhere, a character in the finale is shown to have thought of the whole series, which means he also made up all the shows that had crossovers with St. Elsewhere. This expands into the shows that were mentioned in the shows. There is at this point 419 shows in this universe
44 points: Derosa6037's comment in the longest single set at the laugh factory lasted 7h and 34m (by Dane Cook in 2008).
43 points: astronoob's comment in Margaret Hamilton, NASA's lead software engineer for the Apollo Program, stands next to the code she wrote by hand that took Humanity to the moon in 1969.
42 points: rus_reddit's comment in Rand Paul was the national debt for halloween in 2015. He said it was a very scary costume.
40 points: thejesiah's comment in Close Encounters of the Third Kind Geocache in Northern Italy
38 points: electro_hippie's comment in Why is smiling being frowned upon in the Russian culture?
37 points: SlideNERD's comment in The head of a tapeworm under an electron microscope
37 points: wtfisthisnoise's comment in Is U.S. income tax invalid because Ohio wasn’t legally a state when the 16th amendment was ratified?
35 points: Otterfan's comment in President Obama Roasts Donald Trump At White House Correspondents’ Dinner (2011)
35 points: _Foy's comment in Ways the Great Lakes try to Murder Ships - illustrated
A return to gaming in 2020: catching up on a missed decade.
Prior to this year, it’s no exaggeration to say that the only game I’d played in full since about 2010 was the original BioShock. Not really sure why I stepped away from gaming - probably just some usual combination of life getting in the way and dodgy prioritisation. Then, like many others, I became acquainted with a boatload of surplus indoor time this year, and chose to find my way back with an N3DS and a Switch. Turns out I really missed it. I’ve been slowly playing through a variety of titles I missed the first time around, as well as various others I’ve stumbled across along the way. In compiling this list, I have learned that my gameplay times are crushingly slow, people have extremely strong opinions about the Paper Mario series and actually it turns out a really poorly specced PC was holding me back from gaming all this time. Would love to hear what others thought of this selection of games, especially those who hold dissenting opinions about my DNF list (I expect plenty in support of Xenoblade, lol). Be warned this is all through the lens of someone who is plainly just thrilled to be back in the fold and has zero concerns spending way more time than necessary to complete games! I suspect I have more patience and rosier-tinted glasses as compared to the average weathered gamer, so would also be interested to hear how my experiences stack up in the wider gaming context. The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between WorldsTotal play time: ~30 hours Zelda factored little in my adolescent years, and apart from renting OoT a handful of times for the 64 (and spamming bombs in SSB) this is pretty much the only Zelda experience I've had. It's kind of a blessing and a curse, from what I can tell: I have none of the hangups but equally none of the emotional connection that often seems to accompany the franchise. I really only played this because it had been given to me and came highly recommended. But this was about as good as introductions get - sure, it helped that this was essentially the first console game I'd played in its entirety in over a decade, but the game is clearly exceptional by all accounts. It seems I love a good gameplay mechanic where it doesn't tip into gimmickry, and the wall merge system I found novel, baffling and satisfying without ever being too frustrating. I obviously can't speak to the nostalgia aspect of it, but coming to it fresh was a charming experience. It's pretty hard not to be at least casually familiar with aspects of Zelda lore, and I liked that there weren't any lengthy cutscenes (looking at you, Ōkami) or tedious tutorials to slog through. The storytelling is a little naff but not distractingly so, and for me the pretty predictable ending was offset by the fun final boss battle. And you sure do feel good solving some of those puzzles. I'm not yet game to branch out into the open world of BotW, but I'm pretty glad my maiden Zelda foray was this one instead. More games ought to allow one to become a painting. Highlights: big bomb flower lols, boss battles that were satisfying / a great relief to complete Ōkami HDTotal play time: 50:57:29Completion %: 50/100 stray beads I remember seeing promo material for this game back when it was first released and thinking the brush mechanic was dope - a hype disproportionate to the amount of PS2 I owned (none). So regardless I was probably always going to be predisposed to like this game. This was the first game I finished on the Switch and I enjoyed it immensely. The art style is killer and helps it look great for a game of its age into the bargain, the brush mechanic and the puzzle element it introduces feels integrated rather than gimmicky, and the storytelling is rich and humorous. I know others have commented that the game is overly long, but I enjoyed being in the world enough that it never felt a slog. (This coming from someone who has played 100+ hours of Picross but…) I will agree that the combat system was pretty whatever, though. I am a pretty rubbish gamer by conventional skill standards and even I found this game wildly easy, but I think that also speaks to my enjoyment of the game as an all-round narrative experience rather than pure mechanics. An additional dishonorable mention for having to fight Orochi no less than three times?! Sure, going back in time was a pretty neat narrative arc and I could forgive repeating the fight in that context, but by the Ark I was sure they had to be taking the piss. Unlocking the additional skins gives this game some replay potential for me, especially the photorealistic wolf, laughable only in hindsight. The existence of about twice as many stray beads as I collected also means I may dip in and out in future, but mostly I have minimal desire to bring my dragon-head-whacking count up to 48. Nevertheless, a pretty inimitable experience, even if it took me a decade and a half to get there. Highlights: the dang art style, drawing an emoji face for my demon mask and seeing it show up again in Sei-an City Paper Mario: Sticker StarTotal play time: ~30 hours I can understand the criticism of this game: the combat system sucks and makes traversing through the world often not very fun, the characters are unmemorable, the necessity of having certain stickers to win certain fights is infuriating, the plot is generic, the lack of levelling up is nonsense. None of that stopped me from enjoying this game, though! Take that! As always, this was probably helped immensely by the nostalgia I carry for the original Paper Mario on the 64 and the fact I hadn’t really had any other Mario games to compare it to for a long time. The super vitriolic abuse it seems to cop online feels a bit disproportionate but. From poking around the series, it looks like one that people are particularly vocal about, with the only correct answer being “TTYD is the best game in the series and all other future titles will be held against this specific benchmark”. Honestly I’m just glad I played this game without the knowledge of what the gaming community thought of it, because I don’t think this is a genuinely bad game. Kirby: Planet RobobotTotal play time: ~20 hoursCompletion %: 81% Evidently I rather enjoy the cute-thing-in-a-mech-suit genre, between this game and Gato Roboto. But I have very fond memories of playing The Crystal Shards and am a Kirby main (lol) in SSB so I could probably be coerced into playing literally any Kirby game. I don’t have too much to say about this game; I think anyone familiar with the franchise will understand pretty much how it plays, but the mech suit mechanic is a heap of fun, with copy abilities possible both in and out of the suit. There were some little details that I thought were quite fun: the collection of stickers that you can use to decorate your mech was bonus entertainment, the variety of gameplay styles in the final boss battle, the remote control Kirby in the casino levels. It looks great, it’s charming, and as mentioned, I like an idiosyncratic feature that isn’t gimmicky, and I think the mech suit ticks that box. I picked up Extra Epic Yarn off the back of this, too - it just looks so dang sweet. What the Golf?Total play time: 08:24:56Completion %: 97%Total strokes: 11656Games I subsequently want to play: Superhot If there ever was a time for escapism, the middle of a pandemic seems to be a pretty good candidate, and I am certainly guilty of using this game as a bit of a feel-good salve. But what the golf, it was a grand old time, and I think we can all use the laughs it provides. I bought the game off the expectations set by the trailer and was happily not disappointed. This is a pretty straightforward game by all standards: simple overworld, three levels per stage, emphasis on silly in "silly physics". It feels like the schtick should get old pretty fast, but there's enough sly nods and references (and straight-up gameplay duplication) to keep it fresh and consistently funny. Caveat: pun disdainers avoid. It's the perfect game to dip in and out of - none of the stages are particularly long, and while some of the pacrown levels can be a bit frustrating, you're not at all forced to complete them in linear fashion. Nevertheless, I played this game in pretty lengthy stints, so the format isn't a barrier in that sense either. I know this is a fairly new game to the Switch, but it's been out on PC for a while it seems. I bought it only having seen it in the eShop, so if there was a hype train, it did not make a stop at my station. Highlights: the Superhot levels, WHAT?, the constant anticipation of what a button press would do in a new level Ori and the Blind ForestTotal play time: 14:44:46Completion %: 96%Total deaths: 488 It’s something of a classic, and evidently with good reason - I think I would have played this game for its art alone, but of course its reputation has since come to precede it. It runs really smoothly on the Switch, and the platforming is tight and enjoyable. Not sure how common it is in the wider world, but I really liked the save mechanic - as a chronic saver, I rather appreciated being responsible for setting my own save points, especially when it came to some of the more challenging sequences. I expected to struggle a lot with this one but I found the challenges fair, even the escape sequences, much as I may have wanted to burn down the Ginso Tree on the first few attempts. Feels like most people who’ve had an eye on it have played it by now, and there’s plenty of reviews out there for those on the fence to decide either way, but personally I’m very glad to have played and finished it. I’ve since been told that both the sequel and Hollow Knight eclipse this game, though I do have some idea of what to expect from both. Now if Will of the Wisps could just get a Switch port... MosaicTotal play time: ~3 hours I’d been wanting to pick this game up because a friend of mine had a hand in its creation, but I kind of could not have picked a worse time for it. Without spoiling anything, the premise of the game is being stuck in a very boring corporate dystopia, and a lot of the gameplay revolves around the repetition of your daily routines. Obviously this kind of experience can already be a little harrowing at the best of times, but in the middle of a global pandemic where time feels completely immaterial it was often a bit much. Certainly the gameplay won’t be for everyone; there is a lot of walking around in this game, and you can interact with various depressing billboards and your smartphone in ways you think might have some kind of a purpose but ultimately formally contribute nothing to your game - so in that sense, it’s kind of a bang on expression of its premise, though its messaging can be a little on the nose at times. If you’re into the visual style and can get down with the premise, this is a unique gaming experience which is both lovely and deeply unsettling at times. If you’re at all curious, the website gives a fairly clear mission statement of the game. Gato RobotoTotal play time: 05:23:28Completion %: 78% Short and sweet, this one, and looks and feels great. I’d never really picked myself as one for metroidvanias, but this game came onto my radar after Ori and I was looking for a shorter, punchy game in a similar style, and this delivered on expectations. As mentioned, I’m kind of crap at games, so the difficulty for this one felt about right for me. There were a handful of times the boss battles threatened to tip into frustration, but mostly it was just my timing being off (second stage of the mouse battle in the heater core comes to mind) as well as in the earlier parts of the game where I had just been lax in picking up healthkits. I’ve seen some complaints about it being too much of a Metroid clone, but you can’t get down with that criticism if you’ve never played Metroid *taps head*. Its short length seems to be another frequent comment, but if you’re going in with expectations suitably managed then I think there’s not too much to fault otherwise. But of course this is coming from someone who has played basically no metroidvanias in their life lol. And finally, my DNF list:
Katamari Damacy; abandoned after ~4 hours Heartbreaking for this to be on my list, but I am part of the small percentage that gets enormously motion sick from this game. A huge shame, because it’s one of those games I’ve wanted to play for literal decades now - I pushed through the first couple of levels but I just can’t make it work for me. The theme song has nevertheless taken up plenty of real estate in my brain.
Xenoblade Chronicles 3D; abandoned after ~2 hours This is probably a contentious choice to have on a list like this, though I clearly haven’t really given this a fair shake either. I think it’s probably partly to do with the learning curve of its rather involved format? Thinking of swapping this version out for the Switch one instead in the hope that might make it a bit more accessible to me.
Where the Water Tastes Like Wine; abandoned after ~2 hours The premise of this game is great, and I like its rather non-standard approach in defining what a game should look like, but it just plays so goddamn slow. I found travelling across the country extremely frustrating - none of the options were really any good - and it’s unfortunate because that makes up far and away the largest part of what you spend your time doing in this game. The voice acting is also great, but it never takes anywhere near as much time to scan the dialogue as it does to read it aloud, so most of the acting gets lost behind an A button mash anyway. I want to love this game, but I just never find myself wanting to reach for it.
Child of Light; abandoned after ~2 hours Call me petty, but I just could not manage to get past this game’s unbelievably naff rhyming dialogue. It made me want to skip through all the cutscenes and gave me no desire to attempt to follow the story. I thought the battle mechanic was quite interesting and enjoyable - not sure if this is common to other games in the genre, but it was new to me - but between the dialogue and an art style I didn’t really care for, this one’s been left by the wayside.
Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap; abandoned after 01:48 I played the original Wonder Boy on a Sega Master back in the day and figured a remake of another game in the series might be fun, but I couldn’t really get into this one. Felt like it was going to be a bit grindy for my tastes. I do think it looks great and switching between the art styles is cool, but I don’t think I’ll be doing much more than dipping in and out, if even that.
The day the server room cooked itself to well done
Casting: $me - obviously $sa - on-call Sys Admin $eng - engineering dispatcher I had just started my night shift that particular night and felt the need to use the restroom. As I walked past our tech shop, I heard an unusual beeping. I opened the door and realized the beeping was coming from the backup temperature monitor for one of our server rooms. I work for a large casino and this particular room handles a good amount of the gaming floor. I get close enough to read the screen... 104.3 degrees (Fahrenheit). “No”, I think to myself, “it can’t be, our temperature alert hasn’t gone off!” Our main temperature monitor calls a list of phone numbers when certain thresholds are breached. I had no record of any such calls that day. Regardless, I head to the phone next to the server room door and then I feel it. The heat is RADIATING OFF THE DOOR. I grab the phone to call surveillance (they control the one of the door locks) and through the window into the server room I just see servers shut down. MY. HEART. STOPPED. I have never made so many calls in such quick succession. SURVEILLANCE OPEN THIS DOOR NOWWWWW” I don’t think they even asked why, I’m sure they saw what happened. Then I had to contact engineering to get a portable AC unit in. $eng: “Hello, Engineering speaking” $me: “I need someone to server room with a portable AC unit!” $eng: “well, what’s going on? There’s been no temperature alerts.” $me: “The server room just overheated to the point of failure and we lost 1/3 of our gaming floor. Are you coming or do I need to find and hook up the AC myself?” $eng: “uhhhh... we will be right there” And the crowning glory: contacting $sa. $me: “hi $sa, I need you to come in.” $sa: “can it wait, I just climbed into bed.” $me: “afraid not, server room just went dark and we lost 1/3 of our gaming floor, you need to get here ASAP” $sa: “wut. Haha very funny seriously what’s going on?” $me: “I’m as serious as a heart attack. You should already be on your way.” $sa: “OMG ok I’m en route” Eventually it came to light that there had been temperature issues earlier that day, but instead of resetting the alarms, one of the engineering knuckleheads just set it to “silence”. Thus, no warning about the temps until it was too late. TL;DR: Idiot set server room temp monitoring service to “silent”, so nobody knew that the server room managing 1/3 of the casino gaming floor was cooking itself to death. I stumbled by just in time to watch all of the servers shut off. EDIT: fixed formatting (thanks u/bhtooefr!) EDIT 2: HOLY CRAP this was my first time posting anything. Thank you for all the comments and upvotes! Also (since this has come up a few times) yes there was data loss and hardware failure. We had a well maintained backup system so we only lost about 2 hours of data if I remember correctly. Hardware loss was expensive and took about 2 months to get everything fully functional. EDIT 3: clarification of degrees in Fahrenheit.
49 points: jesseaknight's comment in In the show St. Elsewhere, a character in the finale is shown to have thought of the whole series, which means he also made up all the shows that had crossovers with St. Elsewhere. This expands into the shows that were mentioned in the shows. There is at this point 419 shows in this universe
45 points: Derosa6037's comment in the longest single set at the laugh factory lasted 7h and 34m (by Dane Cook in 2008).
42 points: astronoob's comment in Margaret Hamilton, NASA's lead software engineer for the Apollo Program, stands next to the code she wrote by hand that took Humanity to the moon in 1969.
42 points: thejesiah's comment in Close Encounters of the Third Kind Geocache in Northern Italy
41 points: rus_reddit's comment in Rand Paul was the national debt for halloween in 2015. He said it was a very scary costume.
38 points: srone's comment in The New BMW X6 Has Light-Absorbing 'Vantablack' Paint
37 points: SlideNERD's comment in The head of a tapeworm under an electron microscope
37 points: wtfisthisnoise's comment in Is U.S. income tax invalid because Ohio wasn’t legally a state when the 16th amendment was ratified?
36 points: _Foy's comment in Ways the Great Lakes try to Murder Ships - illustrated
36 points: bigtcm's comment in My immigrant Chinese parents make tamales every year.
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