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Meandering in Red's mind, or "Red, in his own words." Part 5: His stories
Over 7 seasons we have accumulated a lot of stories about Red, his personal experiences. True or not together they paint a picture of the character. Some of them are about his childhood:
When I was young, I wanted to be able to dance just like Gary Goddard. I still remember going to the Snowflake Dance and watching him for the first time. That kid, man, he could move. Won the eighth-grade talent show. He was on the Yell Squad. Gary even danced his way into Helen Hummer’s pants, and let me tell you something, that was like breaking into Fort Knox. Then in the summer of ‘88, I saw Gary in the diaper aisle at Safeway. He looked like hell. Gray. Out of breath, fatigued. Turns out Gary had a bicuspid valve, needed a heart transplant. He was on the wait list until the day he died.
Funny. The janitor at my elementary school was called “Smokey.” No idea why. He never smoked a day in his life.
I was a lifeguard my junior year in high school. Had to give mouth-to-mouth to Mrs. Beerman. She belched up a lung full of corned beef and chlorine. I haven’t been in a pool since.
I spent two summers operating the Whack-the-Cats at the Emmet County Fair
You know, when I was 15, I had a summer job installing carpets for Albert Kodagolian on Lake Charlevoix. Horrible job hot, indoors, forced to listen to “The Gambler” on 8-track while the rest of the world was at the beach. Three days into the job, I knew I had to quit. I asked my father for adviceAll he wanted to know was whether I’d given my word to Mr.Kodagolian that I’d work the summer. I told him I had. My father suggested I stick it out. I’d given my word. Worst eight weeks of my life. Until the last day. Mr. Kodagolian shows up at the jobsite, pulls me aside, and tells me that in 27 years, no kid has ever made it through the summer, gives me a bonus $40. The most valuable money I’ve ever made. A priceless lesson about life. Value loyalty above all else.
Well, [I want] another spin of the bottle in Melanie Reichman’s basement
Your cummerbund. Pleats up! You look like Bob Yoshimura in 8th-grade swing choir. It’s upside down!
You know, BJ Simpson and I started a lawn-mowing business in the summer of ‘72– bagging, hedging, the whole ball of wax.One day, I’m out rototilling Pat Hunt’s garden. I go in for a bottle of pop– must have been 110– and there’s BJ in the sunken living room, shoes off, feet up on the couch, eating a fried-bologna sandwich, watching Mike Douglas. Mike Douglas! Can you imagine? I quit that day….. Point is, I haven’t had a partner since
Sacrifice the bishop. ReykjavÃk, '72. God, I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was in Steven Bash’s rec room down in the basement, eating fried egg and bologna sandwich when he did it.... Bobby Fischer. It was game 13, move 50– rook takes bishop, B5. He sacrificed his bishop. That’s when Russia lost the Cold War. It was staggering. Spassky had no answer because he had no endgame, and neither do you.
The first time I ever smoked a cigar was with Marnie Petersen in fifth grade. Funny, little, bat-faced girl. I adored her.
I remember the name of the baker I stole the strawberry bismark from when I was 11 years old and his wife– Trudy Svoboda.
You know, this artist got his start with puppets. What is it about puppets? It’s the same with clowns. I’ll never forget a puppet show I saw when I was 5, maybe 6. Hansel and Gretel. Scared me to death. But it wasn’t the witch. It was the oven. Imagine an oven puppet. I don’t think I set foot in our kitchen for a month.
I haven’t had a babysitter since Brenda Gilroy. My God, pot pies, Lawrence Welk, bath time with Brenda. Still my perfect Saturday night.
Like Bergita Olofson in her parents' rumpus room on a Saturday night.
When I was 17 and heading off to the Naval Academy, I sent the most extravagant love letter to Sarah Ellen Winstead. She never replied. To this day, I remain convinced that the post office failed to deliver it, and that if your colleagues had simply done their jobs, the entire arc of my life might have been different. I might have been thinner and living in Maine.
Rosie Cavendish had a bulldog. Franklin, named after her great-uncle. Poor guy had eczema, dermatitis, seborrhea one skin condition after the next. The dog, not the uncle
I sometimes feel as if I should pay more attention to pop culture. Then I see this "Star Wars," featuring this giant in a bear costume piloting an aircraft and a little green guy swordfighting. And I say a silent prayer of thanks for Tolstoy's moral crisis. This green fellow is considerably too short to be effective in a swordfight.
I have to say, I would've done exactly the same when I was a kid. It's a ghost story creepy woods, rumors of corpses walking around in the dead of night.
As Old Man Quimby, my fencing instructor used to say "If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, oh, what a Christmas we'd have." My God I loved the foil.... "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." Ah, Quimby. The man was a walking aphorism.
This reminds me of our high-school production of "Guys and Dolls." A rousing rendition of "Fugue for Tinhorns.
I so wanted to be a scout– tying knots, the Pinewood Derby, and the campfire songs. Oh, those songs. I keep trying to explain to Dembe, but I’m no singer.
A number of his stories have to do with swimming, or fishing:
I knew a Marlin when I was young. Marlin Trout. One boy, two fish names. Funny
Have you ever sailed across an ocean, Donald? On a sailboat surrounded by sea with no land in sight? Without even the possibility of sighting land for days to come? To stand at the helm of your destiny. I want that one more time. I want to be in the Piazza del Campo in Siena, to feel the surge as ten race horses go thundering by. I want another meal in Paris at L'Ambroisie in the Place des Vosges. I want another bottle of wine. And then another. I want the warmth of a woman in a cool set of sheets. One more night of jazz at the Vanguard. I want to stand on summits and smoke Cubans and feel the sun on my face for as long as I can. Walk on the wall again. Climb the tower. Ride the river. Stare at the frescos. I want to sit in the garden and read one more good book. Most of all, I want to sleep. I want to sleep like I slept when I was a boy. Give me that. Just one time.
My goodness, I haven't been in steerage since Li Yanping and I stowed away on a Chinese destroyer off the coast of Pulau Belitung.
I miss Alonnisos. No money, shack on the beach, dreams of infamy.
I once stayed at a villa in Bali with a view of the Indian Ocean. Every morning, all I saw before me was possibility. That and a gorgeous housekeeper named Putu,
This reminds me of Sok Pich. We were navigating the backwaters in western Cambodia hoping to steal some sapphires from a mine foreman. Got as far as Pailin when the monsoon struck. Took shelter in a root cellar of all places. I’ve never seen so much rain. Winds like a monarch gone mad. All we could do was hunker down and wait it out. But Sok, he just made a run for the village. So, there I was soaking wet, alone. Three days of absolute misery. And then on the fourth day, I was overcome by this incredible feeling of peace. Something about being hidden there underground while the rest of the world was being torn apart outside .... You have every right to be afraid. Just don’t let it control you. Poor Sok learned that the hard way.... He died. Didn’t get six steps before the wind blew a blade of lemongrass into his skull. You’re in a storm, Lizzy. You need to find the peace below the winds.
In Mexico, there are these fish that have colonized the freshwater caves along Sierra del Abra. They were lost. They found themselves living in complete darkness. But they didn’t die. Instead, they thrived. They adapted. They lost their pigmentation, their sight, eventually even their eyes. With survival, they became hideous. I’ve rarely thought about what I once was. But I wonder if a ray of light were to make it into the cave, would I be able to see it? Or feel it? Would I gravitate to its warmth? And if I did, would I become less hideous?
DARPA tracking chip, I was taken by Somali pirates last March, spent three weeks in a shipping container. The first two were a nightmare. The third one was actually quite pleasant. Even so, that won’t happen again.
I like Yuri. I floated in the Dead Sea with Yuri, climbed Masada with his wife. But if your device goes off, they'll be looking to him. And if they look to him they'll look to me. Because Yuri talks faster than a cheerleader after a nooner under the grandstands. Probably not a metaphor you understand.
From as early as I can remember, I dreamed of someday being captain of a ship. To be out there on the ocean in the middle of the night, navigating by the stars. I always thought it would be the greatest life on earth. The people you're talking abot, the ones who think they know you, they really don't know anything about you at all. I've never told anyone that before. About a life at sea.... That's Polaris, the North Star. That's how sailors used to find their way home. When I look at you, that's what I see. I see my way home.
I have no earthly idea what would bring you here at 3:00 am , but I was in the midst of a glorious dream with two mermaids, a sea cucumber, and an octopus.
Lionfish.... An aggressive, invasive species threatens the local habitat, leaves destruction in its wake. Sound like anyone we know? ... I took aim and released. In the water, it sounded like a dull thud, but the spear passed clear through. I'd already bagged six of them with glancing blows, tail shots. So I knew this last predator was mine. And the destruction it had caused was over. And then it wriggled free.
I was once on the island of Ko Ri, free-diving in the Andaman Sea. I felt terribly ill stung by a lionfish. I was dehydrated, in excruciating pain. I had lost all sense of time and place. I was completely disoriented. But I knew I was dying, so I readied myself for it. And in that moment, at death's door, I looked up, and standing over me in the brightness was this landless Moken sea gypsy just standing there, smiling. She and her tribe nursed me back to health, good as new. And when I left the island she kissed me. It was like a burst of sunlight on my cheek. It was It made nearly dying well worth it.
I've been paralyzed before. The spine of a blowfish pierced my wet suit off Pit – ... I was stung off Pitcairn Island during a brief assignation I had with a rapturous descendant of Fletcher Christian.
Some years ago, I had a rather awkward encounter with a bull shark while diving off the Great Barrier Reef. I actually think it was trying to be affectionate, even a little forward. But the net result was excruciating. But I did spend a glorious month submitting to the healing hands of an utterly divine lighthouse keeper on Bramble Cay a low-lying island that's rapidly being submerged by rise in the sea levels due to climate change.
Stories involve burglars: Bruno Ashmanskis & Mugs Kalinowski
Have you ever heard of Bruno Ashmanskis? The most skilled cat burglar I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. Bruno mostly did jobs on commission, but he always wanted to do something for himself, something special, so he got it into his head that he was gonna break into the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge to steal an imperial vase from the Qing Dynasty worth millions– the single biggest trophy of his career... I never heard from him again. I’d always assumed he’d succeeded, that he was sipping some umbrella-clad cocktail on a beach in Tahiti, until five years later during a remodel of the Fitzwilliam, they removed a wall. There was poor Bruno– what was left of him, anyway– stuck inside a heating duct, still clutching that vase. I prefer to think of old Bruno on that beach in Tahiti.
Have you ever heard of Mugs Kalinowski? Lovely guy. Ugliest man I ever laid eyes on. That’s why everyone called him Mugs. Except his dear mother. She was an art professor at Bard. Lovingly referred to him as Picasso. Well, it was an apt nickname. His face was all over the place. But perhaps as a result of that nickname, Mugs grew up with a great appreciation for art. He fenced some of the most extravagant pieces in the world. He only had one rule. Out of respect for dear mom, he’d never lift a Picasso. Felt it was bad luck. Then one day, he got a tip from a source about a piece sitting in a huge loft in Soho. So one evening, Mugs shimmied up the drain pipe, broke in, and lo and behold, there hung on the wall, Les Femmes D'Alger. A spectacular Picasso. One of a series of 15 and astronomically valuable. [he did not take it] And Mugs was convinced that was the single biggest stroke of bad luck he’d ever suffered. Well, what he didn’t know was the source who’d given him the tip was working with the feds. The painting had a tracking device on it. Sometimes, bad luck is the best luck you’ll ever have.
other miscellaneous stories:
Would you look at that? 416 Rigby Mauser. And fully loaded, no less. Ah. An African bull elephant weighs 14,000 pounds, and this can bring one down. I happened upon one of those magnificent creatures in the Zambezi Valley, and one of these came in quite handy. Liz: You shot an elephant? Lord, no. I shot the poacher that was about to kill the elephant.
Several years ago, one of my bankers in Liechtenstein shared with me some unpublished works by Carl Jung handwritten notes on napkins, journals, and such. It was easily the most enlightening, consequential five days I’ve ever spent in a chalet. DEMBE: What about that week in Davos? Yes. Well. That was a cottage.
The arms business is like Ring Around the Rosie compared with this business you call show... I once provided transportation for a Chinese cobalt magnate who insisted on funneling his ill-gotten gains into a three-picture deal with Woodman Blake. Huge hits, each one bigger than the last. Careers were made. Awards were won. A single dollar over a billion in net profits, and he stood to double his investment. The movies grossed almost $3 billion worldwide. In anticipation of his windfall, my associate purchased a mansion in Sydney and a yacht in Montenegro. When the studio accountants were finished sharpening their pencils, the net was $999 million to the crooked penny. He went into receivership, and his wife left him for a talent agent.
You'll find your time with her goes by too quickly. That's why cuckoo clocks are perfect. I don't really care what time it is. I just want to hear the birds sing.
Might I suggest Montevideo? No better way to forget one's troubles than a night at the opera at the Teatro Solis.
You're not the one who had to listen to that God-awful hold music for 7 minutes, which wouldn't have been necessary if you'd take my calls.
Is this a Frommer? I knew a gaucho who had a pearl-handled one in Patagonia, of all places.... He swore by it. Though he did say the trigger was a little sticky.
Vontae, one other thing. I wonder if you'd be willing to find out who's playing that music. I hear music, and I'm certain that's a record. If someone has a phonograph on the block, I would love to borrow, rent, or buy it.
A friend told me you had a keen eye for salt and pepper shakers. She was wrong. You have an exquisite eye.... I once saw the most adorable little ceramic set in a junk shop outside Topeka salt in a straw hat, pepper in a bowler, both delicately balanced on a tiny green hat stand.
Then we have the one of a kind speech to the empty UN:
Mr. Secretary General, Mr. President, distinguished members of the General Assembly [LAUGHS] I come before you on the 70th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights - Now my bed don't weigh the same - Humbled to be the latest in a long line of politically questionable, formerly dashing strong men to address this hallowed hall. Castro, Gadhafi, and my personal favorite Ah, Nikita. You may have helped the Soviet Union lose the Cold War But you did it in style. Today, I want to bring to your attention a topic of great interest to me and I believe to anyone who cares about this revered institution, Cary Grant, or, specifically, his acid trips. Through five marriages, numerous lovers, allegedly both male and female, and over 70 films, including "North by Northwest," arguably the greatest work ever produced here, he just kept right on tripping, and why not? Before LSD was weighed down by the counter-cultural baggage of Timothy Leary turning on, tuning in, and dropping out, LSD was used to treat addiction, anxiety, and depression. Standing here in the heart of an institution dedicated to diplomacy, I can say, from personal experience, LSD has made me significantly more enlightened, kind, considerate, and loving, and if people are more kind and loving, then the world will be, too. There will be less crime, fewer acts of terror, more joy, more diplomacy, and far more fun. Cary Grant once said after a particularly evocative LSD trip, "I imagined myself as a giant penis launching off from Earth - "like a spaceship."
A number of stories have references to being imprisoned:
Let’s get to work. I once had a bad experience in a deep hole in the ground.
I had the good fortune of sharing a cell in a prison outside Sochi with a An associate of yours, Yevgeny Bushkin. But the point is the old boy didn’t eat for 74 days.
One of the bravest men I ever knew was deaf– Zeeb Pasha, a Communist I shared a cell with in a military prison outside Ankara.Zeeb and I were interrogated by the K Section– foot whipping, hung by our wrists, electric shock.I was nothing more than a groaning heap in the corner.Every time our guard passed the cell, Zeeb would start signing. His fingers were a blur– pointing and tapping, twisting and swirling– the same thing over and over again and again.Lo and behold, one night, our cell was left unlocked. Turns out the guard’s daughter was deaf. And old Zeeb had been signing, “my wife, my daughter, my life. ” Six words, unspoken, convinced that guard to let us go.
BORAKOVE: Didn’t you spend, like, four months in Phonthong? RED: Seven. BORAKOVE: How did you survive? RED: Naps. Occasional calisthenics.
[NOTE from wikipedia]: Phonthong Prison, known as the ‘Foreigners Prison’, is a mixed sex prison near Vientiane.The prison is used to hold non-Laotian prisoners. Prison conditions are poor. Prison cells measuring about sixteen square metres are used to hold up to six inmates. Rations consist of two bowls of pig fat water soup and sticky rice per cell per day. According to former prisoner Kay Danes, prisoners are regularly tortured using techniques including mock executions, beatings and waterboarding, and some prisoners have had their genitals burned A number of stories have to do with people he knew:
“Mmn. Tastes like Patty Sutton.”
I never thought I’d enjoy having anything in my mouth as much as Petty Officer Virginia Sherman.
The other one, the watercolorist, she– legs like a shot-putter. She gets me in this headlock. I black out. Next thing I know, I wake up, no sheets, vaseline everywhere. The lipstick on the mirror overhead reads, “Same time next year?” I haven’t missed an art expo in Basel since.
“Oh, my God. I’ve never been more scared of a woman in my life. She was thrilling in bed. What a pair of legs. I think she played field hockey in college.”
How is Fadila? Vlad, it was a mistake. I can easily blame it on the hashish and the grappa, but the truth is-- may I speak freely? You're better off without her. She's fickle.
“… a ravishing Dane who would adore you. She’s slightly cross-eyed and there’s something very hypnotic about her gaze.”
We spend a glorious weekend in God’s country with two snow bunnies who were dead ringers for the Swiss Miss girl.
Oh, my God! Pagosa Springs public library? I had a water pump go out in Pagosa Springs. Bitch of a mountain Wolf Creek Pass. Thought I was gonna end up living out there with the hill people until this Teddy bear of a man fixed me up at the local garage. I'll never forget him. Tracy Woods. You don't know Tracy, do you? Leather vest, mustache Tracy Woods? ... I wonder if he's still fixing water pumps. Anyway, it'll always be a fond memory.... You sure you don't know him? Leather vest, mustache Tracy Woods? Shame.
With all these stories, it is hard not to feel that whatever his real name is, as u/jayt00212 says, we KNOW who he is.
[But Doctor, I Am Pagliacci] [DC, Joker, AU] - Part 18
Previous *** Jack wasn't much of a language guy. He wasn't a polyglot like Eddie, or the Bat. But he supposed there were only so many syllables the human tongue could produce. Case in point, the leader of North Rhelasia was General Singh Manh Li. The man didn't look like a Singh to Jack. There was no turban in sight. He was clean-shaven. If the guy was a Sikh, he was a really bad one. In all likelihood, it was just a coincidence. The Rhelasian peninsula wasn't anywhere near the Indian subcontinent. That was a shame, since Jack was feeling hungry for a curry. But he figured there wasn't much in the way of Indian takeout in the Socialist Republic of Rhelasia. There wasn't much else, in fact. The insular country wasn't known for its dining scene. Jack reckoned most North Rhelasians were subsisting on rice and cabbage, assuming they had any food at all. Naturally, despite North Rhelasia's abject poverty, General Singh Manh Li didn't look like he was famished. The guy seemed lile he had a healthy appetite and plenty of fat stored up for the winter. And the winter after that. "You agree," the General said, intensely, "the machine is ours?" "Of course," Jack assured the General. "You're my favourite dictator, after all. I'm not going to pull a fast one. Honest Jack, I am. If you can't trust me, who can you trust?" For some inexplicable reason, General Singh didn't seem convinced. Or was that General Li? General Manh Li? Jack wasn't sure what the proper form of address was. Well, one of the North Rhelasian flunkies had tried to give him a full protocol briefing, but Jack hadn't been listening. It was probably 'General Singh'. That seemed right. Jack recalled that people in certain parts of the world usually put their family names at the front, most likely for better alphabetical sorting. Had to keep the government databases neat, after all. No point making things difficult for the secret police. "In Rhelasia," General Singh said, "we do not trust Americans." "That's kinda racist," Jack answered, cheerfully. "But since we're such good buddies, you and I, I'll let that slide." Unfortunately, the General was not amused. The man didn't laugh. He didn't smile. He simply glowered at Jack, his mouth and eyebrows expressing nothing but disapproval. He didn't find Jack funny. Maybe it was the language barrier, since English was clearly not the General's mother tongue. Or maybe the General was trying to intimidate him. But Jack had played to some tough rooms before, in the days when he'd tried to do gigs in Gotham's club scene. General Singh was nothing compared to a rowdy crowd of Gothamites on a Saturday night. "Look," Jack said, holding his hands up. "I'm a modern sort of guy, okay? I'm trying to simplify, trying to declutter. Less physical stuff, you know how it is. I'm getting everything digital, these days. Where am I gonna find the space to store a global-spanning super intrusive alien scanner and all the junk needed to run it? Have you seen property prices in Gotham, these days? Market's crazy, I tell you." The leader of North Rhelasia stared at Jack, blankly. There was a long pause, long enough that it started to become awkward. Then the uniformed woman standing next to the General bent over, placing her face closer to the General's ear. She whispered quickly in Rhelasian. "I can go slower if your translator needs to catch up," Jack offered, helpfully. "There is no need," the General said, followed by something in Rhelasian. The woman listened carefully, before turning to Jack. "The great leader wishes to confirm that all you desire, in exchange, is to be the first one to use the machine." "Bingo," Jack said. "That's all. I get first shot, then it's all yours. Look at it this way, it's win-win. I'll be the guinea pig. If it ends up cooking my brain in my skull, no loss to you, right?" Jack waited patiently as the North Rhelasian translator conveyed his witty repartee to her boss. Personally, he felt the back and forth was rather unnecessary. He'd been in Rhelasia for a few days. Almost a week. He'd already hashed out the specifics of the arrangement with lower-ranking members of North Rhelasia's ruling junta. In Jack's mind, the deal was pretty much settled. But he supposed it wasn't too surprising that the big man himself wanted to come down and throw his weight around. In the end, there wasn't much difference between military dictators and mob bosses. It was just a matter of scale. Finally, General Singh grunted. He raised a hand and made a dismissive motion. "The great leader gives you permission to proceed," the translator said. "Thanks," Jack replied, putting his own hand to his brow and tipping an imaginary hat. "Most kind of you." One of the other North Rhelasian officers stepped forward, clamping a hand on Jack's shoulder, and not-so-gently encouraging him to move. Jack didn't bother fighting. If the Rhelasians wanted to act tough, so be it. He was a big boy. His ego could take the ill treatment. The Joker would have taken offence, and would have done something to put the fear of the clown into them. Something violent. But Jack ignored the urges, and those old instincts. He wasn't the Joker. The Rhelasian soldier led him out of the viewing gallery and down the narrow metal stairs. Jack wasn't sure what the building had originally been. Some kind of weapons facility, most likely, because the North Rhelasians collected weapons of mass destruction like kids used to collect trading cards. But the North Rhelasians had very quickly and efficiently converted the space to house the stolen S.T.A.R. Labs scanner, including cobbling together an interface to make use of it. That was what Jack needed them for. The sensor package, by itself, was just a blocky collection of circuits encased in a hard shell. It didn't even have any obvious blinking lights to make it look cool and mysterious. There was no way Jack would have been able to crack it, himself. The thing didn't come with convenient ports and standard sockets, it was all bullshit proprietary Justice League and LexCorp stuff. The North Rhelasians had placed the sensor suite in the centre of a cavernous room. The device itself was tiny, but the Rhelasians had it encased by a big metal cradle, and there was a tangle of power lines and data cables running from the box to all corners of the room. Aside from the various computers and other devices the North Rhelasians had set up, there was one prominent addition - an uncomfortable-looking chair, with a bulky headpiece and several restraint straps. It reminded Jack of an electric chair. Considering his criminal record, lethal bits of furniture were a familiar sight for him. He'd been in one, once. Maybe more than once. It hadn't taken, of course. Perhaps the chair the Rhelasians had cobbled together would finally be the end of him? Jack knew he was taking a risk. Even if the North Rhelasians kept their end of the deal and didn't double-cross him, he was putting a lot of faith in their dubious engineering standards. Well, he'd always been a bit of a gambler. Flip of a coin. Roll of a dice. Jack let the Rhelasian scientists and technicians strap him in. Someone started counting, or so he assumed. He didn't recognise the numerals, since he didn't speak Rhelasian. But in context, it had to be a countdown. Or a count up. Whichever way they went in North Rhelasia. Jack took a breath. There wasn't much information in the wild about New God technology. Not much. But more than zero. He'd gone over the files provided by the Calculator, which detailed both the capabilities of the S.T.A.R. Labs sensor device, but also the original New God artifact it was based on. Hamilton and his team called it a Mobius-type sensor suite, because it was based on their study of the Mobius Chair. Jack assumed that the name was just a translation or approximation, since there was no damn reason that some ancient alien race would name things after a nineteenth century German mathematician. On the other hand, there was also no logical reason for the planets of New Genesis and Apokolips to be called what they were, unless there was something deeply screwy going on. Of course, New God stuff was deeply screwed up, by definition. And now Jack was strapped into a piece of it. The Rhelasian countdown stopped. A surge of blue light erupted around the chair, springing up from the metal frame and completely engulfing Jack's body. Involuntarily, he closed his eyes, shielding them against the blinding light. But as the energy continued to pulse, sending a tremor through his bones, he knew what he had to do. As the light reached its peak, he opened his eyes. And saw. *** Next
It's starting to pick for the Christmas season but for how long? 7373.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Mandelaeffectresearch.com, red Phoenix bird, Skylab dates, Capital building shape changed again, Iridodonesis, St. Christopher now sometimes depicted with a mutant dog head because ancient people didn't know what a Caananite was, Schumann Resonances, Thinker is now eating his hand even more, Mandela Effect card game having answers inconsistent with present reality, meth invented in 1887 and common during WW2, big lakes showing on bottom of map of Australia and other big lakes, more geography changes, Area 51 wasn't near Roswell, Jingle Bell Rock new lyrics changes, Up On The Housetop new lyrics changes, European clown funerals, and other things.)(Video below.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKk8L2YWZB4 7374.(Music Lyrics change.)"Begging mercy for their sins."/"Begging mercies for their sins."("Satan laughs and spreads his wings."/"Satan laugh and spreads his wings.")(Any of the other lyrics off?)(Anything else off?) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Njawjl4d8cE 7375.(History change.)Do you remember the last major plague being the Black Death in the 1300's instead of in China in 1850? https://www.alternatememories.com/historical-events/science/plague-pandemic 7376.(Real Life Quote change.)"But what you can do for your country."/"Ask what you can do for your country." https://www.jfklibrary.org/learn/education/teachers/curricular-resources/elementary-school-curricular-resources/ask-not-what-your-country-can-do-for-you 7377.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember Indiana Jones' hat being shorter on the top than it is now?(Anything else off?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Jones 7378.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Bermeja being located in the Gulf Of Mexico instead of not existing? https://www.alternatememories.com/historical-events/geography/bermeja-island 7379.(Phantom t.v. show quote.)Do you remember Dr. McCoy from the original Star Trek saying something similar to "Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker."? https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/dammit-jim-im-a-doctor-not-a-x 7380.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Spider tailed horned viper, Great Wall Of China not one wall, The Thinker is not actually named The Thinker, truffles grow in the desert, naked mole rats can move their teeth independently like chopsticks, American Nazis saluted the American flag for 50 years, and other things.)(Video below.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LIr62WSQImk 7381.(Town name change.)Gettysberg, Pennsylvania/Gettysburg, Pennsylvania https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gettysburg,_Pennsylvania 7382.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Ashton Kutcher starring in Friends With Benefits instead of Justin Timberlake?(Was Mila Kunis in No Strings Attached with Ashton Kutcher instead of Natalie Portman?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friends_with_Benefits_(film) Add-On: Do you remember candy canes not having such a complex history? https://www.whychristmas.com/customs/candycanes.shtml 7383.(History change.)Do you remember Marty Jannetty getting kicked out of the window instead of being thrown out? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QLiVGQP5ksc 7384.(History change.)Do you remember Ramesses II not having a passport given to him in 1974? https://www.ripleys.com/weird-news/ramses-ii-the-mummy-who-had-a-passport/ 7385.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Ebenezer Scrooge being based on a real person?(Anything else off?) https://www.alternatememories.com/historical-events/books/ebeneezer-scrooge-was-a-british-mp 7386.(Movie Quote change.)"All I need are some tasty waves, cool buds and I'm fine."/"All I need are some waves, cool buzz and I'm fine."("Way to go Hamilton."/"Alright Hamilton.") https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hReFx1kjuIE 7387.(Music Lyrics change.)"They like to get you there and smile in your face."/"A real life Pikachu laughs while in your face."(Does it sound like the former or the latter?)(Anything else off?)(Any of the other lyrics off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HPyCtkZ9SeI 7388.(Real Life appearance change.)Do you remember Nancy Pelosi not having such big boobs? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=--VsefXs-f4 7389.(Spelling change.)Samarai/Samurai(Other spellings?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samurai 7390.(Music Lyrics change.)"When I'm stuck with a day that's gray and lonely."/"When I'm stuck with a day that's grave and lonely."(Do you hear the former or the latter?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BsMu5uM8juY 7391.(Music Lyrics change.)"Lightning and the thunder."/"Lightning then the thunder."(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr4RYPTJV6w 7392.(Music Lyrics change.)"Cause I don't wanna remember."/"Cause I won't remember."(Do you hear the former or the latter?)(Any of their logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h8MAHQhKe7Q 7393.(Music Lyrics change.)"And now it's when I kissed her."/"And that was when I kissed her."(Do you hear the former or the latter?)(Any of their logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H_pRyMShJ0k 7394.(Music Lyrics change.)"40000 million notches away."/"40000 million light years away."(Do you hear the former or the latter?)(Any of their logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UBnPedWPatI 7395.(Music Lyrics change.)"Since I met you."/"Since I left you."(Do you hear the former or the latter?)(Any of their logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P3YR-RKrL1g 7396.(Music Lyrics change.)"What happened to my cinnamon buns?"/"What happened to Miss Independent?"(Do you hear the former or the latter?)(Any of their logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oOpwA6rGUR4 7397.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the weird voice at the beginning of 1999 by Prince? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1999_(Prince_song) 7398.(Phantom movie.)Do you remember Harley Davidson And The Marlboro Man not existing? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harley_Davidson_and_the_Marlboro_Man 7399.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember I Am Legend having zombies in it instead of vampires?(Is the news interview scene different?)(Anything else off?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Legend_(film) 7400.(Music Lyrics change.)"Every moment gets better."/"Every moment red letter."(Anything else off?) https://genius.com/Walt-disney-records-a-whole-new-world-lyrics 7401.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Ring of fire solar eclipses, legendary Aksum Empire, Hitler's talking dogs with poetry and religion, more population changes, Gombe Chimpanzee War, ground effect is enough to lift a vehicle, crocodiles can also climb trees, tigers have eye spots on back of ears, Tom Thumb was real, more moon landing changes, brown hyena, more orca changes, heavy and semi-heavy water, rough head grenadier, and other things.)(Video below.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a1v9YQsnxk0 Add-On: Do you remember the Statue Of Liberty not standing on a platform or small tower? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pK0fMRd8Wcc Add-On: Do you remember "Fly! Fly! Fly!" being the new The Wizard Of Oz quote instead of "Now fly! Fly! Bring me that girl and her slippers! Fly! Fly! Fly!"? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HRM_TfhgrZY 7402.(Music Lyrics change.)"Gonna fly high like a bird up in the sky."/"Will he fly high like a bird up in the sky?"(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A7-fWrugUkk 7403.(Phantom movie.)Do you remember The Wash not being a thing? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lMjYiYRWO1k 7404.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Pavlov using a bell on his dog in his famous experiment instead of a metronome? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fCikajujJ6c Add-On: Do you remember The Mystery Machine just saying Mystery Machine on the car instead of The Mystery Machine?(Were Velma's shoes a different color or style?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=J-XwqUY0ezU 7405.(Music Lyrics change.)"Pushing down on you."/"Pressing down on you."(Any of the other lyrics off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=It3TB4B8Fqw 7406.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember "See what you want to see" phenomena like the viral guy on the swing not being a thing? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_c8tr3tdXhg 7407.(Music Lyrics change.)"Voices of the angels."/"Voices of the angel."("Hear the angels' voices."/"Hear the angel voices.")("The angels did say."/"The angel did say.")(Was Angel always capitalized or not?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7UFGh-uuEa0 7408.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Inka-Dink not being a thing?(Was Potato Man not a thing either?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qWncwaMrC3Q Add-On: Do you remember "I went for a walk" instead of "I've been for a walk" in California Dreamin'? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MUXUM4hocTs Add-On: Do you remember Fomoco not being a thing? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hysocmnnzC4 7409.(Song name change.)I Looked At You/The End(Any of the lyrics off?)(Anything else off?) https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/doors/ilookedatyou.html 7410.(Celebrity death change.)Do you remember Emma Thompson dying while skiing with Liam Neeson instead of Natasha Richardson?(Anything else off?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natasha_Richardson https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Thompson 7411.(Fictional Character name change.)Marsha Brady/Marcia Brady https://bradybunch.fandom.com/wiki/Marcia_Brady 7412.(Music Lyrics change.)"My world turns upside down."/"The world turns upside down."(Any of the lyrics off?)(Any of his logos off?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A84FUZvlFUQ 7413.(Movie name change.)The Labyrinth/Labyrinth(Is the logo off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=70eBNIRuNgc 7414.(Music Lyrics change.)"Mad world."/"Enlarging your world."(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t_Lq3RFnKkM 7415.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Ribbon lightning, bead lightning, more new sprites, Rock Of Gibraltar proof, Line Of Blaschko(Humans are getting stripes.), Vitiligo, Greater Adria, more cat nostril changes, spiders have pet frogs, African wild ass, more New York changes, more Washington changes, and other things.)(Video below.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jTKVmiQe6Zg 7416.(Spelling change.)Stupify/Stupefy(Stupified/Stupefied)(Aggitate/Agitate)(Aggitation/Agitation)(Habenero/Habanero)(Other spellings?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vBW-BIml2pY 7417.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the Thin Red Line not existing? https://www.patriotwood.com/blogs/news/83224135-what-does-the-thin-red-line-mean-for-firefighters 7418.(Music Lyrics change.)"Might sound crazy what I'm 'Bout to say."/"It might seem crazy what I'm 'Bout to say."("Sunshine's here so you can take a break."/"Sunshine she's here, you can take a break.")("Clap along."/"Clap alone.")(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7ACkJwqOEWM 7419.(Music Lyrics change.)"Pick up the receiver."/"Lift up the receiver."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LsXlQW0kfCo 7420.(Music Lyrics change.)"Wasted days and wasted nights."/"Wasted days and wasted night."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Freddie FendeFreddy Fender)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mBFph1jsl9A 7421.(Music Lyrics change.)"Make God as my objection."/"Regardless my objection."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Do any of their logos look off?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xQzS3JnZQZM 7422.(Music Lyrics change.)"He walked in."/"You walked in."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Any of her logos look off?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DpQcfzj-3gY 7423.(Music Lyrics change.)"You know they won't win."/"We know they won't win."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Any of their logos look off?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XjBwAYIxUso 7424.(Music Lyrics change.)"That's the night that they harmed an innocent man."/"That's the night that they hung an innocent man."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Any of her logos look off?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vpkE5Ee3AOo 7425.(Music Lyrics change.)"I'll pretend my shit's not stinking."/"I'll pretend my ship's not sinking."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Any of their logos look off?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XLdNb9FxTU0 7426.(Animal name change.)Morning Dove/Mourning Dove https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mourning_dove 7427.(Spelling change.)Femenist/Feminist(Anything else off?) https://www.britannica.com/topic/feminism 7428.(Famous Actor name change.)Annette Benning/Annette Bening(Other spellings?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annette_Bening 7429.(Movie name change.)Blues Brothers/The Blues Brothers(Anything else off?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blues_Brothers_(film) 7430.(Spelling change.)Astroid/Asteroid(Other spellings?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asteroid 7431.(Island name change.)Catalina Island/Santa Catalina Island https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Catalina_Island_(California) 7432.(Company name change.)Bartles & James/Bartles & Jaymes(Anything else off?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartles_%26_Jaymes 7433.(Famous Singer name change.)Sammy HageSammy Hagar https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sammy_Hagar 7434.(Famous Singer name change.)Johnny Lang/Jonny Lang https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonny_Lang 7435.(Band name change.)The Commodores/Commodores(Any of their logos look off?)(Anything else off?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commodores 7436.(Song name change.)Johnny B. Good/Johnny B. Goode(Other names?)(Anything else off?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_B._Goode 7437.(Famous Actor name change.)Telly Savales/Telly Savalas(Other spellings?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telly_Savalas 7438.(T.V. Show Logo change.)Do you remember the E in Homeland being normal?(Were the Es in The Event normal?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homeland_(TV_series) 7439.(Phantom t.v. show.)Do you remember The Fonz And The Happy Days Gang not being a thing? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fonz_and_the_Happy_Days_Gang 7440.(Phantom t.v. show.)Do you remember Gilligan's Planet not being a thing? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilligan's_Planet 7441.(T.V. Show Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Hannibal not being connected?(Anything else off?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hannibal_(TV_series) 7442.(Movie Scene change.)Do you remember the woman in the famous painting in Pleasantville not being completely naked?(Anything else off?) https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/MissGatBC/artworks-featured-in-pleasantville 7443.(Famous Singer name change.)Kenny Wayne Shepard/Kenny Wayne Shepherd https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenny_Wayne_Shepherd 7444.(Movie name change.)Fifty Shades Of Gray/Fifty Shades Of Grey(Book too.) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey_(film) 7445.(Movie name change.)The Story Of Robin Hood And His Merry Men/The Story Of Robin Hood And His Merrie Men(Anything else off surrounding the history?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Story_of_Robin_Hood_and_His_Merrie_Men 7446.(Denomination name change.)Jehovah's Witness/Jehovah's Witnesses https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah's_Witnesses 7447.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember it always being Merry Christmas instead and never Merrie Christmas? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Merrie_Christmas_to_You Add-On: Do you remember Unusual Suspects instead of The Usual Suspects?(Anything else off?)("The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist."/"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.") https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Usual_Suspects 7448.(Phantom celebrity.)Do you remember Elinor Smith not existing?(Do you remember there not being women pilots who flew for Hitler as well?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elinor_Smith 7449.(Movie Scene change.)Do you remember the plane in The World According To Garp being red instead of blue? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World_According_to_Garp_(film) 7450.(Town name change.)Punxatawney, Pennsylvania/Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania(Other spellings?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punxsutawney,_Pennsylvania 7451.(Music Lyrics change.)"In the white room with black curtains at the station."/"In a white room with black curtains near the station."(Any of their logos off?)(Was it something else?)(Anything else off?)(The White Room/The Killing Room)(Book too.) https://genius.com/Cream-white-room-lyrics https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Killing_Room 7452.(Music Lyrics change.)"Café, café, café."/"Yeah babe, yeah babe, yeah babe."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Anything else off?) https://genius.com/Justin-bieber-yummy-lyrics 7453.(Music Lyrics change.)"It's alright. It's okay."/"It's alright. That's okay."("You can look the other way."/"You may look the other way.")(Other lyrics?)(Anything else off?) https://genius.com/Bee-gees-stayin-alive-lyrics Add-On: Do you remember Smith & Western?(Remington/Reminton/Remington)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y6yEgarL5zA 7454.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(100 stars vanish, WW2 GPS, dragon lizards have separate wings, Allais Effect, 76% of ocean animals are bioluminesecent, wet haystacks catch fire, Magellan did not circumnavigate the globe, black knight in Monty Python was based on real person, The Secret Of NIMH story was based on real events, bone marrow transplants change huge amounts of your DNA and make you a Chimera, blood transfusions can do the same thing and so they are irradiated, mitochondria can separate and fuse together in huge chains and networks, and other things.)(Video below.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r2biiJglZbA 7455.(Famous Actress name change.)Diane Cannon/Dyan Cannon https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyan_Cannon 7456.(Movie name change.)My Cousin Vinnie/My Cousin Vinny https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Cousin_Vinny Add-On: Do you remember Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots not having nametags on their backs?(Did the quote originally change to "My block was knocked off" instead of "My block is knocked off"?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_%27Em_Sock_%27Em_Robots 7457.(Phantom movie scene.)Do you remember there being a scene in Flight Of The Navigator where a UFO is flown through a McDonald's drive-thru? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flight_of_the_Navigator 7458.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember Scooby Doo wearing a headscarf and sunglasses instead of a hat and regular glasses in the iconic scene? https://scoobydoo.fandom.com/wiki/Grandma_(2002_film) Add-On: Do you remember "Now every gambler knows that the secret to survival." instead of "Every gambler knows that the secret to surviving."? https://genius.com/Kenny-rogers-the-gambler-lyrics 7459.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Psychic Pokémon being strongest other Psychic Pokémon instead of Bug Pokémon being strongest against them? https://www.serebii.net/pokemon/type/psychic/ Add-On: Do you remember Snow White not being 7 years old?(Were the dwarfs and other things in Snow White not supposedly based on real events?) https://www.alternatememories.com/historical-events/books/how-old-was-snow-white 7460.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Iboga not being a thing? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabernanthe_iboga 7461.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Chester Cheetah having an all-black nose instead of white too?(Was his snout less yellow and more orange?)(Anything else off?)(Coke II was now a thing.)(Pepsi AM was now a thing.)(Cheetos Lip Balm was now a thing.)(Frito-Lay Lemonade was now a thing.)(Philadelphia Cream Cheese is actually from New York and not Philadelphia.) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chester_Cheetah 7462.(Movie Scene change.)Do you remember E.T. pointing at Elliott's heart instead of his head in the iconic scene? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=75M1XXEZciU 7463.(Music Lyrics change.)"No one's ever gonna stop us tonight."/"No one's ever gonna stop us now."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Fun/fun.)(Any of their logos look off?)(Any other lyrics off?)(Anything else off?) https://www.metrolyrics.com/carry-on-lyrics-fun.html 7464.(Music Lyrics change.)"I get high."/"I can't hide."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Anything else off?) https://genius.com/The-beatles-i-want-to-hold-your-hand-lyrics 7465.(Music Lyrics change.)"Woke up to where time stands still."/"Welcome to where time stands still."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Any other lyrics off?)(Anything else off?) https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/metallica/welcomehomesanitarium.html 7466.(Music Lyrics change.)"So I set the world on fire."/"So let's set the world on fire."("We can go brighter than the sun."/"We can burn brighter than the sun.")(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Any other lyrics off?)(Anything else off?) https://genius.com/Fun-we-are-young-lyrics 7467.(Music Lyrics change.)"Cause I'm being sassy."/"Cause I feel sassy."/"Cause I'm the assassin."(Do you hear the former or latter?)(Any other lyrics off?)(Anything else off?) https://genius.com/Iron-maiden-the-assassin-lyrics 7468.(Music Lyrics change.)"Boy I've been watching you like a hawk in the sky that flies and you are my pray."/"Boy I've been watching you like the hawk in the sky that fly but(Does it sound like Boy?)were my pray."(Any of her logos look off?)(Any other lyrics off?)(Anything else off?) https://genius.com/Aaliyah-are-you-that-somebody-lyrics 7469.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(What doesn't kill you makes you stronger quote, pride goeth before a fall, definition of Oceania has changed, ring shaped Atoll islands popping up all over, Jumping Frenchman Of Maine Syndrome, Irlen Syndrome, Mars sky is blue at sunrise and sunset, plants form memories, more weird volcano lightning, you can safely ride cows, most gummy worms have smiley faces, and other things.)(Video below.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XuuLWGEYaWI 7470.(Logo change.)Do you remember the Air Force Crest having more stars than it does?(Anything else off?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Air_Force_Symbol Add-On: Do you remember Tin Man not being rusty or dirty at all?(Tin Man/Tin Woodman)(Anything else off?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tin_Woodman 7471.(Famous Singer name change.)Ace Freely/Ace Frehly(Did he never wear blue makeup?)(Did billboards in most places never say Regency on them?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEZ255a6nQA https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MEgqSpu3epA Add-On: Do you remember Dorothy having ruffled socks?(Did she have a white apron?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Gale 7472.(New species.)Have you heard of the toadhead agama?(Have you heard of Nitinol?)(More weird aircrafts.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cz60xzHfPHM 7473.(New fungi.)Have you heard of the Lobster Mushroom?(Have you heard of the Chicken Of The Woods?)(Have you heard of the SweeTango(Sweet Tango?)Apple?)(Have you heard of the Cosmic Crisp Apple?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TCH7mkWpV5w 7474.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Vincent arriving at the apartment and placing his gun on the counter in Pulp Fiction? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rzVa1t2G2PY 7475.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Greek Fire not being a thing?(Have you heard of the Claw Of Archimedes?)(Morpheus from The Matrix is based off a Greek deity named Morpheus.)(Medusa is now sometimes depicted with wings and the pegasus having wings was apparently inspired by her having them.)(One of the earliest depictions of a yo-yo is on a Greek vase from 440 B.C..)(Greeks call their country Hellas or Hellada and not Greece.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iSRuLyIvisM 7476.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there being numerous surgery types where surgeons have to temporarily pull out the eyes and rest them on patients' checks?(They apparently have never been on record despite all the people in the forum.) https://forums.digitalspy.com/discussion/1835400/do-any-surgeries-require-the-eyeball-to-be-removed-from-socket-temporarily Add-On: Do you remember beatboxing not going as far back as the 1930's?(Did groups like The Mills Brothers always use real instruments before?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=14QEoEIvUuk Add-On: Do you remember Cruella De Vil wearing a white coat or white coat with black spots instead of a yellow coat? https://www.alternatememories.com/historical-events/movies/what-color-coat-did-cruella-de-vil-wear Add-On: Do you remember the Tin Man not having having a dot on his head?(Did the Tin Man not have a collar?)(Did he have a hatch for where his heart should be?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iOxcMdkYsWE Add-On: Do you remember also not being able to jump cows? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KNFYS2XLZ30 Add-On: Do you remember Michael Jackson not having large hands? https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/yess-gawd-look-at-them-big-hands-michael-jackson-hands-and-finger-appreciation-thread.624872/ 7477.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Sea foam invades a town, Columbus' crew never thought the world was flat and were not afraid of sailing off the edge, Williams Syndrome makes people look like elves and act extra friendly, Dyschromometria, Super 8 logo changes, Stater Bros. logo changes, European bison and 2 kinds of American bison now, raining diamonds on Saturn and Jupiter, Saturn's rings are raining "ring rain" onto Saturn, weird UFO sightings, and other things.)(Video below.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-SahtGZ34_Q 7478.(Music Lyrics change.)"So baby hold me closer."/"So baby pull me closer." https://genius.com/The-chainsmokers-closer-lyrics 7479.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the Marriott World Trade Center not being a thing? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriott_World_Trade_Center 7480.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Dan Aykroyd not being in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom?(Were George Lucas, Frank Marshall, Kathleen Kennedy, and Steven Spielberg not in the movie either?) https://www.slashfilm.com/trivia-dan-aykroyd-and-the-temple-of-doom/ 7481.(History change.)Do you remember there being hundreds of suicides on Wall Street in the 1929 crash? https://www.alternatememories.com/historical-events/general/how-many-suicides-on-wall-st-in-the-1929-crash 7482.(Company name change.)Rubbermade/Rubbermaid https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubbermaid Add-On: Do you remember Tin Man not having blue eyeshadow or lipstick?(Do they squirt the oil on him differently now?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tin_Woodman 7483.(New species.)Have you heard of the Australian feral camel?(Was there not an overpopulation of camels in Australia?)(Was Australia not the origin for most camels found in other places such as the Middle East?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_feral_camel 7484.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the traffic lights in RECALL VECTOR's intro not having white outlines? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xmkmm1Ah3so 7485.(History change.)Do you remember there not being a 1939 Pro-Nazi event in America?(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HX2lPyxDo10 7486.(Snack name change.)Brazil Bites/Brazi Bites(Airheads/Airhead/Airheads) https://www.cnbc.com/2018/09/30/where-brazi-bites-is-today-after-its-feeding-frenzy-on-shark-tank.html 7487.(Real Life appearance change.)Do you remember Jackie Kennedy's blue collar on her dress also being pink? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_Chanel_suit_of_Jacqueline_Bouvier_Kennedy 7488.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Winnie The Pooh always having a red balloon or red balloons and never any other color? https://www.pinterest.com/pin/484911084851416162/ 7489.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember herbivores never eating dead animal bones? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pMZZN3pkQjw 7490.(Can't think of a title.) Do you remember there being a sequel to Batteries Not Included called Batteries Still Not Included? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kbFq2sdZe7E 7491.(Phantom movie scene.)Do you remember Jennifer Love Hewitt wearing the tuxedo to help Jackie Chan in The Tuxedo? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wtCLfQ3jPCc 7492.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Little Caesars or Domino's making the Bigfoot pizza instead of Pizza Hut?(Did the Pizza By The Foot from Little Caesars not exist?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ho6mICY6dYY 7493.(Movie Quote change.)"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."/"Keep your friends close but your enemies closer." https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ISOUsjycrEQ 7494.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Volcanic eruption turns brain to glass, Space Force logo looks like Star Trek logo, pet otters, gay Greek gods, more ice changes, aye-aye weird middle finger and 6th finger, invasion of crazy jumping worms, 30% of babies are born with hair and grow a mustache in the womb, women can store sperm for 10 days or more, Tartars/Tatars, Hogmoth larva, more human body temperature changes, and other things.)(Video below.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8e_VO1dGmNo 7495.(Music Lyrics change.)"Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams."/"Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream."(Did he say "Coma" instead of "Karma"?)(Any other lyrics off?)(Any of their logos off?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UpV28oe4dik 7496.(Video Game Quote change.)"Sorry but your princess is in another castle."/"Thank you but our princess is in another castle."(Was it something else?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9DkZBgafnwo 7497.(Spelling change.)Whoopie Cushion/Whoopee Cushion(Was it always the former?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xmC7FiuLd6o Add-On: Do you remember Mickey Mouse always having eyebrows? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v7ZT9mPmeD0 7498.(Movie Quote change.)"They're coming to get you Barbra."/"They're coming to get you Barbara."(Just how he says her name that one time.)(Is it Barbara Cole or Barbra Cole?)("Look! Here comes one of them now."/"Look! There comes one of them now.") https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0dxeUGVch50 7499.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Stretching is bad for you, Tully monster, Kiev turned to Kyiv officially in 1995, list of Hitler's drug habits, Shermer's neck, lasers can give you alien eye colors, spiders can catch and eat snakes, brainy scalp disease, separation of church and state not in Constitution, T-Mobile logo changes again, Supercuts logo changes, Sulfur Hexafluoride makes your voice deep, coyotes and badgers hunt together, and other things.)(Video below.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H2L77Y9GcLg 7500.(New species.)Have you heard of all these "bird poop" and "stick-like" insects and spiders?(Have you heard of cliff honey?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ-5FtUwD2Q 7501.(Store name change.)Lane Bryan/Lane Bryant https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lane_Bryant 7502.(Famous Journalist name change.)Bryan Gumbel/Bryant Gumbel https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bryant_Gumbel 7503.(Famous Basketball Player name change.)Kobe Bryan/Kobe Bryant https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobe_Bryant 7504.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the Chrysler Screw Amphibian not being a thing? https://www.macsmotorcitygarage.com/video-the-1964-chrysler-marsh-screw-amphibian/ 7505.(Music Lyrics change.)"Like fire! Hell fire! This burning in my skin."/"Like fire ! Hell fire! This fire in my skin."("It's not my fault it's in God's plan."/"It's not my fault if in God's plan.") https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9wWHL4g3SYs 7506.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember Esmeralda wearing 2 earrings instead of 1?(Did the explanation for why she only wears 1 not exist?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=57RE9eoV9kA 7507.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember this extended version of Pressure by Billy Joel not existing? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lw9eT7zLFsQ 7508.(Phantom movie scene.)Do you remember Harrison Ford not being in E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial?(Is the whole scene off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs8PxiYT8Z0 7509.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Muhammad Ali never having anything to do with saving hostages? https://face2faceafrica.com/article/how-muhammad-ali-convinced-saddam-hussein-to-free-15-u-s-hostages-in-1990 7510.(Phantom t.v. show.)Do you remember Hawaiian Eye not existing? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v7u5pHsac1I 7511.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember Lois Griffin not having earrings?(Anything else about her head look off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ygauLwRe0Lk 7512.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember Lucy from The Lego Movie not having freckles?(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wO1YwD-wstY 7513.(Product name change.)Mamwich/Mannwich/Manwich https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PZw_m9CSfPs 7514.(Company name change.)Troybuilt/Troy-Bilt(Was it something else?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-417JBK2GnA 7515.(Rock Band name change.)Grand Funk/The Grand Funk/The Grand Funk Railroad/Grand Funk Railroad(Any of their logos off?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EL3D0uuIZ6Q 7516.(Folk Duo name change.)Simon And Garfunkel/Simon & Garfunkel(Was it one or the other or both?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2-PGOzAoJpQ 7517.(Rock Band name change.)The Butthole Surfers/Butthole Surfers(Was it one or the other or both?)(Any of their logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KX0VFdKjwr4 7518.(Pop Duo name change.)Bellamy Brothers/The Bellamy Brothers?(Was it one or the other or both?)(Any of their logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8ODclRH-O8g 7519.(Rock Band name change.)Moody Blues/The Moody Blues(Was it one or something else?)(Any of their logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9_Lf9WnBQME Add-On: Do you remember Boyz II Men not ever being known as Boy II Men or Boyz II Men?(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XfNu0GyDyuc 7520.(Movie Scene change.)Do you remember only the second R in Redrum in The Shining being backwards instead of the D too?(Were the letters dripping?) ("Little pig! Little pig! Let me in!"/"Little pigs! Little pigs! Let me come in!")(Is the full line off in any other way?)(Do you remember the axe being red instead of normal?)(Did Jack Torrance show his axe in the hole he created in the famous scene?)("Danny is not here Mrs. Torrance."/"Danny isn't here Mrs. Torrance."/"Danny's not here Mrs. Torrance.")(Was it something else?)(Is the bear scene off in any way?)("I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just gonna bash your fucking brains in."/"I'm not gonna hurt you. Wendy! Darling! Light of my life! I'm not gonna hurt you. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just gonna bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash 'em right the fuck in. I'm not gonna hurt you.")(The Shining/Shining)(Was the latter never acceptable?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Y25wtYp-nw https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CYYqlgvje20 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RL51fQ78k24 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MzOlJjDhT2Y 7521.(Phantom movie.)Do you remember The Big Bus not existing? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mtHDeWW-q-M 7522.(Music Lyrics change.)"Well they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles and they ran through the bushes where the rabbit wouldn't go."/"Yeah they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles and they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go."(Was it something else?)("Old Hickory said we took 'em by surprise if we didn't fire our muskets 'til we looked between their eyes."/"Old Hickory said we took 'em by surprise if we didn't fire our muskets 'til we looked 'em in the eye.")(Was it something else?)(Any of his logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=crns95LEhKw 7523.(Quartet name change.)The Four Tops/Four Tops(Was it one or the other or both?)(Any of their logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3WyqEPrdKvU 7524.(Phantom movie.)Do you remember Hercules In New York not existing? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CbVgbtaQhkw 7525.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Sabbath Mode on certain household appliances not being a thing and not going as far back as 1988? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i8mg8g67OdM 7526.(Movie name change.)Omen/The Omen(1976 and 2006 movie.)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n-tGipQn0jM 7527.(Song name change.)Children Of Korn/Children Of The Korn(Lyrics too.)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dWvXjK57rqg 7528.(Rock Band name change.)George Thorogood And The Destroyers/George & The Destroyers(Was it one or the other or both?)(Any of their logos off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YsDQvAxhEZg 7529.(Music Lyrics change.)"She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on your doorway, but outside it starts raining."/"She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on your doorway, but outside it stops raining."/"She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway, but outside it stopped raining."(Was it something else?)(Any of their logos off?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GIizdFo1AxI 7530.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Chimp dances and claps on beat with music, whale poopnados, more Thinker changes, fish that can sand above water with its fins and breathe air 3 different ways, Ancient Puquois in Nazca uses wind to pull water up from deep aquifers, Jimmy Carter collapsed in a marathon when he was president, babies should eat solid food at 4-6 months instead of 1 year, Lamproderma Echunilatum, Fugitive Slave Law Of 1850, the broomstick challenge, and other things.)(Video below.) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hBQrIX3Ly_s 7531.(Song name change.)Be Cruel To Your School/Be Chrool To Your Scuel(Any of their logos off?)(Dee SnydeDee Snider) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xoPFCxHbtwM 7532.(Rock Band name change.)The Faces/Faces(Any of their logos off?)(Mamas And The Papas/The Mamas & The Papas)(Was it something else?) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faces_(band) 7533.(Music Lyrics change.)"I never was one of them money hungry fools."/"I never was one of them money hungry fool." https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GBICjEa_7KA 7534.(Rock Band name change.)Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers/Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers(Was it one or the other or both?)(Anything else off?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=COXniUD94oM 7535.(Rock Band name change.)Joan Jett(Jet?)And The Blackhearts/Joan Jett & The Blackhearts https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Otx6qMVpw-g Add-On: Do you remember Gran Tourismo instead of Gran Turismo?(Was it something else?) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7YhTTtG3SVA
[OC] List of fun/interesting Football Terminology in various Languages
Hi everyone, a while ago I asked for funny or interesting football words in your languages in the daily discussion thread. I promised I'd make a text post about it but kind of forgot, better late then never, eh? Please contribute as well, I'm sure there are many more languages with hilarious or interesting football words, this is just a small list I gathered today. If there are any mistakes, let me know. I'll be adding new entries as we go. So without further ado:
someone who only wants to play in perfect conditions, i.e. sunny, not too cold/hot, perfect pitch
Sonntagsschuss
sunday shot
long range goal from an unlikely position to score a goal from
Straßenfußballer
street footballer
a skillful player who grew up on the streets (Ronaldinho, Kevin-Prince Boateng, Mahrez, etc.)
Tunnel
-
nutmeg
Turniermannschaft
tournament team
a (national) team that traditionally perfoms better in the big tournaments as opposed to meaningless friendlies or less important qualifying matches, like Germany (disregard 2018)
Übersteiger
overstepper
step over
Wadenbeißer
calves biter
tenacious defenders/defensive midfielders especially if they have low body height, think Gennaro Gattuso as the prototype
Two teams that agree to end the game with a certain result that would benefit both and most likely damage some other team (Sweden and Denmark drew 2-2 at Euro 2004 to eliminate Italy)
Bomber
word borrowed from English
goalgetter
Calcio
"I kick" - 1stpersonsingularconjugationof"calciare"
popular phrase coined by Cruyff: important players or players with a lot of experience
*"Arquero" is the main term for goalkeeper here (Argentina/Uruguay) as well. Even though that word means archer, in this case it comes from the fact that we actually call the goal "arco" instead of "portería/puerta". So yes, arco means both goal and bow. Therefore arquero stands both for goalkeeper and archer
anden4
thanks to cilinderman, nocomet, Beatlepy93, anden4 ?*What does the word "crack" literally mean? Does it refer in any way to cocaine or did it come from somewhere else etymologically?
Polish
Word/Phrase
semi-literal translation
meaning
Grać z klepki
to play on/from the stave
exchanging fast first touch passes (tiki taka)
Szczupak
pike (the fish)
diving header
Wolny elektron
Free electron
free role player
Kosa, kosić
Scythe, to scythe
hard slide tackle
Laga
long, hard stick
attacking with long balls only (Pulisball)
Plecy, plecy rosną
Back, the back is growing (back as anatomical part of human)
warning when the player with the ball is approached from the back by opponent
Piątek
friday
Sheva reincarnated
Sito
a sieve
nutmeg
Austrian German
Word/Phrase
semi-literal translation
meaning
Außenpracker
exterior carpet beater
fullback
Dribblanski
a technical player with good dribbling skills that lacks end product, think Adama Traore
Eiergoalie
egg goalkeeper
error prone keeper
Fersler
comes from Ferse (heel)
back heel goal/pass
Gaberln
comes from Gabel (fork)
doing keepie uppies
Jud
Jew
toe poke
Wadlbeißer
calves biter
tenacious defenders/defensive midfielders especially if they have low body height, think Gennaro Gattuso as the prototype
player who always fouls, this comes from stephen chow’s kung fu soccer
收山腳 (shou shan geuk)
-
career ending tackle
磨薑 (mor geung)
grinding ginger
grinding your leg against the ground when u fall
疊瓦 (dip nga)
overlapping tiles
overlapping run by a fullback
執雞 (tsup gai)
picking chicken
player scoring on easy goal/tap-in, for example due to goalie error or defender making a poor clearance
莫氣 (mok hei)
no gas left
player is low on stamina
單蹄馬 (dan tai ma)
horse with only one hoof
player who is not ambidextrous and relies too much on his strong foot, ie Robben
單刀 (dan dou)
single knife
player is one on one with the goalie
炒飛機 (tsao fei gei)
shooting airplanes
player making a shot that flyes into row z
曬靴 (sai hur)
to show one’s soles
going studs up in tackles
底線傳底 (dai seen cheun dai)
to pass to the touchline at the touchline
absolute fail of a cross that went out of bounds
烏龍 (oolong)
-
to score an own goal
牛奶仔 (ngau lai zai)
milk boy
player who is playing safe and doesn’t take risks
妹下妹下 (mui ha mui ha)
to nibble
player is not paying full effort in a match
扭波 (lau ball)
to twist and turn with a ball
dribbling
爆人 (bao yen)
to explode past ppl
use pure speed to dribble past someone, ie bale vs maicon/ bale vs bartra
箍波 (cool ball)
to be entangled with the ball
to be good at at retaining possession; being press resistant
衛生波 (wai seng ball)
hygienic football
playing a match where players are not aggressive towards each other
痾蛋 (or dan)
to lay an egg
goalkeeper failing to control the ball, thus the ball slips from his hands
大細龍 (dai sai long)
big and small nets
ball goes right through between the legs of a defender into the net
打仔格 (dai tsai gak)
aggressive personality
player such as Gattuso, Keane, etc
雪糕筒 (seud gow tong)
traffic cone
defender who gets dribbled past every time
放題 (fong tai)
all you can eat buffet
same meaning as the one above
貼身膏藥(tip sun go yeuk)
ailment that sticks firmly on the skin
man marking opposition player
神龍(son long)
godly dragon
goalkeeper that makes amazing saves, for example de gea
叉燒 (tsa siu)
bbq pork
easy chance to score
跑狗 (pau gau)
running dog
derogative description for a player who is running his socks off but isn’t actually contributing much in attack
手榴彈 (sau lau dan)
hand grenade
Rory Delap-esque throw in
七旋斬 (tsut suen zam)
ball that spins seven times
Beckham’s trademark curved free kick
浪射 (long se)
wave shoot
shooting from unlikely positions or shooting excessively
柱躉 (tseu dung)
pillar
big man up front
海鮮波 (hoi seen bor)
seafood soccer
the team’s performance is as unstable as fluctuating seafood price in a wet market, usually used to describe Liverpool a few years back (利記海鮮)
鐵桶陣 (tit tung zhun)
iron bucket formation
park the bus
魚生粥 (yu sang zhuk)
fish congee
match that is won by fine margins, for example a 1-0
互交白卷( wu gau bak guen)
handing each other empty papers
nil nil draw
七個一皮
7-1
losing in a humilating manner - NOT related to Germany 7-1 win against Brazil, see details below*
水銀瀉地 (sui ngun sei dei)
water and silver is poured all over the ground
team is playing attractive attacking football
波係圓嘅 (ball hai yuen ge)
the ball is round
you never who wins or who loses until the end
黑哨 (huk sau)
black whistle
unfair refereeing
十二碼
a 12 yard
penalty
閘
a gate
full-back
倒掛
hanging upside-down
- overhead kick, sometimes added with 金鈎 (golden hook)
有鬼!
There's a ghost!
Man on!
踩波車
stepping/riding on the ball vehicle
when a player miss kicks the ball, slips on the ball and falls on his ass (rare one, probably more common in amateur football)
食波餅
eat a ball cake/pie
when player gets smacked hard in the face by the ball, as if taking a massive pie to the face
收山腳 (shou shan geuk)
retiring tackle
career ending tackle
派牌 (pai pai)
distributing cards
midfielder that springs passes on the the pitch, like David Silva, Fabregas, Pirlo, Xabi Alonso, etc
*so this seven to one saying comes from gambling; so 一皮means one cent in Cantonese, and one dollar is equal to ten cents, so that gambler lose three cents; three has the same sound (sam) as 衫 (means clothes in cantonese), so the hidden meaning is that the gambler has lost so much that he has to use his clothes to exchange for cash to pay up
standing in a circle trying to keep the ball in the air
Danska/Norska krysset
The Danish/Norwegian cross
bottom corner. Top corner is called krysset (the cross) so the danish or norwegian cross is just a worse version of the cross
Dansken
the Danish
a "tactic" where you kick it back at kickoff and send a long ball directly up field where everyone has ran. So all wingers and strikers just rush forward and a midfielder sends a long ball on chance. Popular with youth teams, "they are doing the danish"
Dansk skalle
Danish skull
to headbutt someone, Zidane gave Materazzi a danish skull
Filma
to film sth.
diving or embellishment of the referee
Korpen
The Raven
More or less sunday league, recreational football. I play football with my mates in The Raven
Mjölka/Maska
to Milk/To worm
to waste time
Ronaldinhofinten
the Ronaldinho trick
Elastico
Tåpaj
Toe Pie
Toe poke
Tunnel
-
nutmeg
TV-räddning
TV save
hollywood save by the keeper, making it look more dramatic than necessary
Various
Word/Phrase
semi-literal translation
meaning
Cantonese - 摘雞
to pick chicken
easy tap in goal
Japanese - メンバーチェンジ (Menbaa Chenji)
member change
substitution
Japanese - スパイク
spikes
football boots
Greek - Παλτό (palto)
coat
a shit footballer, usually one with high expectations he hasn't met
Als je niet kunt winnen, moet je zorgen dat je niet verliest
If you can't win you have to make sure you don't lose
Je moet schieten, anders kun je niet scoren
You have to shoot, otherwise you can't score
Als wij de bal hebben kunnen hun (sic) niet scoren
If we have the ball, they can't score
Voetbal is simpel, maar simpel voetballen blijkt vaak het moeilijkste wat er is.
Football is simple, but simple football often proves to be the hardest thing there is
Voetbal is simpel: je bent op tijd of je bent te laat. Als je te laat bent moet je eerder vertrekken.
Football is simple, you're on time or you're too late. If you're too late you have to leave earlier
Als Italianen één kans krijgen, maken ze er twee
If Italians get one chance, they'll score twice
Italianen kunnen niet van je winnen, maar je kan wel van ze verliezen
Italians can't beat you, but you can lose to them
Kijk, de bal is een essentieel onderdeel van het spel
You see, the ball is an essential part of the game
Thanks to Jujugg (French), HippoBigga (Spanish), Vacuumflask (Austrian), spikeeleslie515 (Cantonese), vul6, mojekosio (Polish) and two redditors whose accounts have been deleted since then. Also thanks to Glenn55whelan, if you could provide the Icelandic words for these football words as well I will incorporate them into their own section. Thanks to Ravenblood21 for Greek, Kyuashu for Serbian, amanfikry for Malay I'm sorry it took so long, dieyoubastards. So, now it's your turn. These are only very few of such words, I'd like to see many more languages with their own quirky football terminology. Of course, if there are some lesser known English words, comment them as well. Something along the lines of twatter meaning "laces shot pelting someone right in the face" (propably non-existent), you surely have many more like these to contribute.
So this is just a sort of... rambling jumbled mess of some things I've noticed about Alastor. Not really a full fledged 'theory' but perhaps it could become one when some smarter and more observant people than myself get to it... unless of course this is all common knowledge that has been posted already and I've just missed...
Only One Demon?
So... Alastor... First off, is he only ONE demon? Sure we have the Alastor we know and love, but i believe he might either be A: Teaming up with other demons, or B: Controlled by another demon. We see his 'shadow' a few times through the episode, but it seems to be it's own entity. Usually a trope involving a shadow having an identity of it's own symbolizes that it's another being. The Shadow Man from the Princess and the frog comes to mind as he works with demons that he's made agreements with to give him powers so that he may do their bidding. Alastor strikes me as a character that might be into that sort of situation for reasons i'll dive into later. Second, we see his microphone come to life and talk to Alastor... It doesn't seem to have the same voice, and is in fact voiced by a different person in the show. It's not really brought up again, but clearly the microphone is important to him. In Vaggie's descriptions of Alastor it shows him prominently holding out his microphone, the eye shining at dying demons. Clearly at least a portion of his power comes from that, even though his hands are used for a lot of smaller magical feats through the show.
Power= Deal making.
Now, what this COULD be is that either he, or the demon controlling him, has made deals with other demons to give him these abilities... He DOES seem to be into that sort of thing. When he offers Charlie a 'deal' to help with the hotel, his hand glows and menacing energy consumes the room. This isn't your normal verbal contract, this is some form of magical seal that would most likely bind her into some sort of 'monkey's paw' scenario, ending up poorly for Charlie, which is kind of his motive considering how he sees the hotel. Even Vaggie calls him a 'deal maker'. "Whatever you do, don't make a deal with him" At one point he summons an entire band of generic musical demons, seemingly made of patchwork by the stitching and needles, which isn't consistent with his theme, or his own 'shadow's look. His own outfit transforms during the musical scene, and we can then see his hat and suit now has stitching. If this musical number was his own magic, why would the demons he's summoned be patchwork? Why would he turn his nice clean well made suit into a stitched up outfit and not his classy well kept look? Perhaps he made a deal with these patchwork demons and they're the ones dressing him up? (possible counterpoint i see is that when the OTHERS get their fresh outfits, none of them seem to be made of patchwork... odd) Then there's the tentacles and demons that attack the ship. You might be thinking they're just part of Alastor's empire and they just work for him... but Alastor doesn't seem to be the 'empire' type... Sir Pentious has his egg army, the few groups we see at the beginning seem to be hanging out in their home bases (mansion, porn studio, emporium), meanwhile Alastor is just... walking the streets. He doesn't have an entourage, or a base of operations... he just summons those he needs to take care of whatever situation he's in. It would also explain his access to Husker and Nifty. Husker, while being angry at being summoned, doesn't seem surprised that he's been called. Perhaps Huskers already in a deal with Alastor, or maybe Husker is just an easy target for busy work for Alastor. After all, he lays out the offer on the table (Cheap booze and a wink in exchange for running the front desk) And Husker accepts without any argument; Either because he's already stuck in a deal, or because cheap booze is all he needs to accept a deal. He's also shown to be a gambler... perhaps he made a deal with Alastor on a bet and lost? He also mentions "What do you want with me this time?" Implying he's done work for him before. Not to mention "I ain't doing no charity job" implies he HAS done other jobs for Alastor. (In fact, during the last section of Vaggie's backstory on Alastor, you can see Husker hiding behind her in the background) Before he summons Nifty, Alastor explains that he can 'cash in a few favors' Implying that he's made deals with people already and is owed favors from these people. How or why is not explained, but Nifty happily gets to work cleaning when she's summoned. And finally Alastor snaps his fingers and summons a tentacle monster of some sort to take on the gunship. It doesn't exactly fit with his motif of 'radio demon'. With all the other characters who fight they usually have a theme of sorts: Sir Pentious has his machines and egg-men, Cherri Bomb uses explosives and gun, even Angel seems to be a 1920's gangster with tommy guns and revolvers. But Alastor goes from Shadows, teleportation, summoning, tentacles, magical deal making, magical sign changing, and probably more. Even if he IS a SUPER powerful demon, most of the demons we've seen had some consistency to their abilities... but if Alastor has made deals with multiple demons, this would give him access to all these different abilities on the fly because they're not 'his' abilities, they're someone else's. Maybe that's why he wanted to make a deal with Charlie so badly. The princess of hell is probably very powerful when pushed the the edge, what deal demon wouldn't want that kind of power? I feel we'll be seeing a lot more of Alastor making deals in the future....
Who was Alastor?
So it's well known that Alastor was a serial killer in the living world, although it's never said WHO he killed. There's a few clues that i think point to him being a vengeful killer, possibly for good. First: Alastor can be roughly translated to " "spirit of revenge"or "tormentor". So who would he be getting revenge against?
"Redemption? Oh the non-existent humanity. Oh no no no. I don't think there's anything left that could save such loathsome sinners. The chance given was the life they lived before. The punishment is THIS. There is no undoing what is done."
So clearly, he feels that sinners BELONG in hell, that they deserve it. He's not preaching about how he and others were wrongfully put here, he has strong feelings that those who died as sinner SHOULD be in hell. Murders, rapists, tax dodgers, all getting what they deserved. A serial killer with that mentality would surely go after bad people in the living world. These people were given a chance on earth, and now that they're dead, they're receiving a just punishment, perhaps a punishment that was not properly given to them by the law of the living world.
"Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery of pit of failure."
Again, he's clearly NOT a fan of the sinners that ended up here, but now that HE'S here, he can continue to torture and maim those who have failed at being a good person in the living world. He LOVES it, he enjoys seeing these terrible people burn at his hand. It's not just anyone, he specifically mentioned 'scum' and 'sinners'. He also sees himself as being 'better' than everyone else... if you feel that you see yourself as a 'righteous beacon of good destroying evil', you probably would be narcissistic. He's not trying to use his abilities to RULE hell, as he doesn't seem to have any claim to any parts of hell like Sir Pentious is trying to claim. Instead he 'broadcasts his carnage all throughout hell just so everyone could witness his abilities, instilling fear and torment throughout hell. His profile on the wiki also mentions he would never hurt a child (although, he does mention 'so many orphans' when talking about the stock market crash, so I can't tell if that's a jab at the suffering of orphans or what...) perhaps because he sees them as innocent, incapable of sin, and therefor not to be harmed. His interest in Charlie could tie into this as well... If he can get close to the princess of hell and therefor the king of hell, if he can dethrone him and take over the MAIN ruler instead of slapping around some small timers like Pentious, He can turn this afterlife of sin and debauchery into an ACTUAL hell, torturing these souls for their misdeeds forever. That... Ooooorrr maybe he DOES see the good in her... she wasn't a mortal who sinned and came to hell, she was BORN here. She wasn't given a chance to live a life and be judged before coming to hell. She's the only one that Alastor speaks highly of, so maybe he's plotting something good for her? Or perhaps both good for her, bad for everyone else...
KKC culture: music, songs, rhymes, books, plays, stories, games
This is an updated and reworked version of several earlier lists. For the disclaimer please refer to the end of the post. I. Music and songs (explicitly named, A to Z) Applejack. Performed by Kvothe at Anker's in WMF ch 23. Aunt Emme’s Tub. A bright and somewhat inappropriate song performed by Denna at the Mauthen wedding, mentioned in NotW ch72. Performed by Kvothe at Anker's in WMF ch 23. The Ballad of Ben, Brewer Supreme. Composed by Greyfallow's Men for the Ben farewell party. NotW ch 15. Bell-Wether. Instrumental. Played by Kvothe at Eolian in WMF ch6. A tune shepherds have been whistling for ten thousand years. The simplest of simple melodies. Below the Walls. Written by Arliden. Mentioned in NotW ch12. Blacksmith’s Daughters. A song performed by Kvothe for Felurian in WMF ch96. Come Wash in the River. A bright song performed by Denna at the Mauthen wedding. Sang by Denna in NotW ch72. Mentioned in NotW ch72. Copper Bottom Pot. A bright song performed by Denna at the Mauthen wedding, mentioned in NotW ch72. Performed by Kvothe at Anker's in WMF ch 23. Drover’s Daughters. Performed by Kvothe in Anker's in NotW ch 62. En Faeant Morie. Performed by some luthist at Eolian in WMF ch5. Home Westward Wind. Played by Kvothe for Vashet in WMF ch121. A a favorite of Laurian. In the Village Smithy. Mentioned by Simmon in NotW ch53. Played by Kvothe for Vashet in WMF 121. A song about this woman whose husband had gone off to war. In the Forest Fae. Played by Kvothe for Felurian in WMF ch98. a song about, of all things, Felurian herself. It wasn’t particularly good. It used about three chords and two dozen words. In Twilight Versed (a.k.a. The Song Half-Sung). A song composed by Kvothe about my Felurian experience. Mentioned in WMF ch138, performed by Kvothe on multiple occasions. Jackass, Jackass. Composed by Kvothe and Threpe, played by Kvothe in Eolian in NotW ch61. A catchy song about Ambrose pretending to be a ribald little tune about a donkey who wanted to be an arcanist. Semi-official lyrics for this one are available here. Lady Fae ("or something of the sort"). Played by Kvothe for Felurian in WMF ch98. I didn’t know who had written it, but they had an appalling habit of sticking extra syllables into their lines. It wasn’t bad enough to get anything thrown at me in a tavern, but it was close. Larm and His Alepot. A song performed by Kvothe for Felurian in WMF ch96. Taetn’s Late Day. A mandoilin song played in Eolian in WMF ch5. The Lay of Felurian. Composed and played by Kvothe for Felurian in WMF ch98, lyrics are available in the chapter. A cheesy ode to Felurian. The Lay of Sir Savien Traliard. Composed by Illien. Performed by Arliden, sang by Arliden and Laurien in NotW ch15. Performed by Kvothe at Eolian, sang by Kvothe and Denna in NotW ch54. A song about Sir Savien and Aloine, love lost and found and lost again, a cruel fate and man’s folly.the most difficult song I had ever heard. [...] It was only about fifteen minutes long, but those fifteen minutes required quick, precise fingering that, if done properly, would set two voices singing out of the lute at once, both a melody and a harmony. [...] That was tricky, but nothing any skilled lutist couldn’t accomplish. However, “Sir Savien” was a ballad, and the vocal part was a counter melody that ran against the timing of the lute. Difficult. If the song was being done properly, with both a man and a woman alternating the verses, the song was further complicated by the female’s counter harmony in the refrains. Leave the Town, Tinker. A popular melody hummed by many people on occasion. Played by Kvothe in NotW ch60, WMF ch62, WMF ch130. Lilac Bough. Performed by Kvothe at Anker's in WMF ch 23. Nothing but Roses. A song composed by Kvothe for Maer and Meluan in WMF ch 72. Pennywhistle. A bright song performed by Denna at the Mauthen wedding. Mentioned in NotW ch72. Piper Wit. Played by Kvothe for Alleg and Co in WMF ch130. From the beginning when Piper kills the farmer, to the end when he seduces the dead man’s wife and daughter. I left off the last two verses where the townsfolk kill Piper. Sisters Flin. A song performed by Kvothe for Felurian in WMF ch96. a bright and lively song about two sisters gossiping while they argue over the price of butter Sweet Winter Rye. Performed by harpist at Golden Pony in WMF ch33. The Song of Seven Sorrows. A song about Lanre composed by Denna (and Master Ash), performed by Denna in WMF ch73. Squirrel in the Thatch. Mentioned a number of times by Simmon, Denna and Kvothe as an example of the most basic song. The Pontifex Always Ranks Under a Queen. A dirty song composed by Laurian and Kvothe during Kvothe's youth to help Kvothe memorize forms of etiquette and official address. NotW ch 16. Ten Tap Tim. Played by Kvothe in University in NotW ch51. Helped Kvothe to memorize runes due to it's catchy chorus. Tinker Tanner. Played and sang by virtually everyone, including Kvothe. A drinking song that is older than God, the oldest song in the world. People continue to invent their own verses. Tintatatornin. Composed by Illien, performed by Kvothe in Eolian in WMF ch6. Instrumental, perversely difficult to play, the finest song ever written for fifteen fingers. Violet Bide. A sad song performed by Kvothe on numerous occasions. We have a piece of lyrics in WMF ch45. White Riders’ Hunt. A Faen song and Kvothe's song. Mentioned and partially sang by Bast in WMF ch1. Whither With He With the Withee. A song performed by Kvothe at Eolian in WMF ch 36. a song that’s difficult enough to articulate when sober as a stone // Omitted: a number of presumably instrumental songs Kvothe composed during his time in the forest after the Chandrian attack: Snow Falling with the Late Autumn Leaves; Calloused Fingers and a Lute With Four Strings; Warm Grass and Cool Breeze; Sun Setting Behind the Clouds, Bird Taking a Drink, Dew in the Bracken; Wind Turning a Leaf; Riding in the Wagon with Ben; Singing with Father by the Fire; Watching Shandi Dance; Grinding Leaves When it Is Nice Outside; Mother Smiling; Waiting While it Rains (trying to play when a second string broke); Reaping (midway through when 3rd string broke), Sitting by the Water Remembering (recalled at Felurian's place). // Omitted: a number of unnamed songs, including Arliden’s unfinished Lanre song (prologue mentioned in Rhymes section), Felurian song (mentioned in Rhymes section as a part of Dedan’s story), a song about queen Serule, etc. II. Rhymes (filtered by lore and/or plot value, in order of appearance) Children’s Chandrian chant
(NotW 3) When the hearthfire turns to blue, What to do? What to do?
Bast's lullaby (possibly an improv and should not be listed here, not sure)
(NotW 5) How odd to watch a mortal kindle
Lackless rhyme v1 (heard by Kvothe from a girl in Fallows)
(NotW 11) Seven things has Lady Lackless Keeps them underneath her black dress
Waystone rhyme (excerpt, as recalled by Arliden)
(NotW 14) Like a drawstone even in our sleep Standing stone by old road is the way
Prologue to Lanre's song (by Arliden, unfinished)
(NotW 15) Sit and listen all, for I will sing A story, wrought and forgotten in a time
Prologue to “Sir Savien” song
(NotW 54) Still! Sit! For though you listen long
Kind Chandrian rhyme (from Book of Secrets available in Archives)
(WMF 14) The Chandrian move from place to place,
Arliden's “Not tally” rhyme (not important lore-wise, but important plot-wise)
(WMF 36) Dark Laurian, Arliden’s wife,
Prologue to Lanre song (Denna's version)
(WMF 73) Gather round and listen well,
Lacklessrhyme v2 (by a random travelling performer boy)
(WMF 108) Seven things stand before The entrance to the Lackless door.
// Omitted: many small rhymes (including Bast's "Barrel, barrow", Kvothe's "Cobbler, cobbler", Tinkers' rhymes) that either seem to be an improv or do not seem to have any lore or plot value. III. Books (explicitly named, A to Z) A Quainte Compendium of Folke Belief. "A collection of stories and superstitions gathered by an amateur historian in Vintas". Found by Kvothe in Archives in WMF 16. Book of the Path. Religious book of Aturan church. Mentioned a lot. Nina used pages from such book to draw the Trebon vase. Celum Tinture. Avoided by Bast in the frame story (and also mentioned in tLT). Stolen from Caudicus library and given to Devi by Kvothe, being "a useful resource for an alchemist exiled from the Archives" (WMF 143). Claim of Kings. By Fyoren. Eld Vintic. Read by Maer. WMF 63. Dictum. By Renfalque. Mentioned by Puppet. WMF 40. En Temerant Voistra. The last entry on Elodin's list (WMF 12). Not found by Kvothe in Archives (WMF 13). Facci-Moen ve Scrivani. By Surthur. 12 volumes on artificing. Originally in Eld Vintic (?). WMF 28. Heroborica. A book on Medicine and Botany? Devi has one, Gran has one, Kvothe buys one. Rhetoric and Logic. Kvothe's present from Ben. Kvothe hated it. NotW 15. Shackles of Empire by Araman Ashbride (a monograph on Commonwealth coins). Mentioned in "currency" appendix of NotW 10th anniversary edition. The Basis of All Matter. By Malcaf. Devi's book. WMF 60. The Book of Secrets. "An odd book arranged like a bestiary but written like a children’s primer. It had pictures of faerie-tale creatures like ogres, trow, and dennerlings. Each entry had a picture accompanied by a short, insipid poem." Found by Kvothe in Archives (WMF 14). The Chains of Empire. by Etregan. Mentioned by Pairs companion booklet. Fall of Empire. By Feltemi Reis (WMF 9). Took Kvothe 10 hours to finish. The same name as the next one - an inconsistency? The Fall of Empire. By Greggor the Lesser (referred as Gregan the Lesser later in WMF - an inconsistency?). A history book. WMF 39. The Book of Iron Law. An Aturan law code. The Lights of History. By Feltemi Reis. A history book. WMF 39. The Mating Habits of the Common Draccus. By Devan Lochees (The Chronicler). Mentioned all over the place. "An educated investigation into several common myths" regarding the Draccus. The latest edition has "new engravings and a section on the Faen-Moite". The Road of Iron and Gold by Tillen Andra (an Aturan history book). Mentioned in "currency" appendix of NotW 10th anniversary edition. Theophany. By Teccam. A philosophy book. Mentioned a number of times, especially in WMF 73. Termigus Techina. A book with artificing schemas bought by Kvothe. WMF 145. Underlying Principles. By Teccam. "Not a long book, but thick, if you follow me” (Elodin). Mentioned by Elodin as an introductory course to his class in WMF 11. Vision and Revision. By Malcaf. A new book at Devi's in WMF 10. IV. Plays (explicitly named, A to Z) Daeonica. Not many people know this play (tm), but it gets mentioned an awful lot (by Ben, Kvothe, Denna, Fela and others). Tarsus bursts out of hell and stuff. There is a nice fan-made version here:https://www.reddit.com/KingkillerChronicle/comments/3fw4xf/who_wants_to_read_daeonica/ctsqz23/ Farien the Fair. Filled with intrigue, mentions poisons and antidotes. NotW 8. Felward’s Falling. Not many people know this play (tm). "So we were ill-lit ships at night, passing close but all unknown to one another". NotW 58. Felior's Fall. "there are a full thirteen of [Chandrian]: one for each pontifet in Atur, and an extra for the capitol". Mentioned by Arliden in NotW 12. For all his waiting. Everybody wants to try Lady Perial's hat. Mentioned by young Kvothe in NotW 11. The Forging of the Path. Part of the Bright-field Cycle. "Chock full of Tehlu" (Young Kvothe). NotW 8. The Ghost and the Goosegirl. Performed by a street troupe in the WMF 60. The Path Ill-Chosen. An "awful Tehlin drama" mentioned by Kvothe in WMF ch19. The Swineherd and the Nightingale. Young Kvothe played Lady Reythiel's part when Greyfallow's men performed it. The Tenpenny King. "Modegan faerie-story trash" (Denna). WMF 72. Three Pennies for Wishing. There are "Feltemi’s original" and "the expurgated versions". "Full of dark humor, tragedy, and betrayal" (Kvothe). The storyline involves Deadnettle, the potion seller, who gets pilloried in the fourth act. Tinbertin. Mentioned by Arliden in NoTW 14. V. Stories (filtered by lore and/or plot value, in order of appearance) Taborlin’s escape from a tower (narrated by Cob, unfinished)
(NotW 1) When he awoke, Taborlin the Great found himself locked in a high tower
Tehlu story (narrated by Trapis)
(NotW 23) This is a story from long ago. Back before any of us were born. Before our fathers were born, too.
Lanre’s story (narrated by Skarpi)
(NotW 26) Once, years and miles away, there was Myr Tariniel. The shining city.
Ruach creation story (narrated by Skarpi, unfinished)
(NotW 28) Selitos One-Eye stood forward and said
Kvothe’s Imre trial story, part 1 (narrated by Cob, unfinished)
(NotW 88) Way back when Kvothe was just a pup, he went to the University.
Faeriniel story (narrated by Kvothe)
(WMF 37) FAERINIEL WAS A GREAT crossroads, but there was no inn where the roads met.
Kvothe’s Imre trial story, part 2 (narrated by Cob, unfinished)
(WMF 47) “It was too a demon, Jake,”
“The Chronicler” story (Kvothe’s improv)
(WMF 47) He carries around a great book, and whatever he writes down in that book comes true.
“Ignorant Edema” story (narrated by Elxa Dal)
(WMF 48) Once there was a learned arcanist. He knew all of sympathy and sygaldry and alchemy.
Felurian story and rhyme (narrated by Dedan)
(WMF 81) The boy who told me this was hardly as old as Kvothe here
Taborlin’s escape from prison with a copper sword (narrated by Martin, unfinished)
(WMF 83) ...SO TABORLIN WAS PRISONED deep underground
A boy with a golden screw (narrated by Kvothe)
(WMF 83) “Once upon a time,” I began. “There was a little boy born in a little town.
Jax story part 1 (narrated by Hespe)
(WMF 86) “Once, long ago and far from here,” Hespe said as we sat around the fire after dinner, “there was a boy named Jax, and he fell in love with the moon.
Jax story part 2 (narrated by Hespe)
(WMF 88) Jax had no trouble following the moon because in those days the moon was always full.
Faen realm creation story (narrated by Felurian)
(WMF 102) long before the cities of man. before men. before fae.
Story of Aethe and Rethe (probably a part of “99 tales” cycle, narrated by Shehyn)
(WMF 114) “This is a story of years ago,” Shehyn said formally. “Before this school. Before the path of the sword tree.
Creation war story and Chandrian signs rhyme (Adem version, narrated by Shehyn)
(WMF 128) Once there was a great realm peopled by great people.
Story of Kvothe’s burning of Trebon (summarized by Kvothe)
(WMF 147) ...listening to how I had killed the Black Beast of Trebon.
Reddit is not a convenient place to maintain organized information like this, and so many redditors are not used to even search for it. Still I feel like this information might be of interest to those who have just arrived to this sub (or to those who have missed original posts), and re-publishing is the only tool I have at the moment.
It is easier to maintain a single list than several; also some of these older lists were made with old reddit editor, which means even more troubles maintaining them.
I expect to maintain this list at least for another year. If you have found any errors or if you think I have missed something, please let me know.
Hey folks! Today I returned to the US after a week aboard the Oasis of the Seas gambling at the single zero roulette table. If you're interested, you can read the original story here where I kept day by day notes in the comments about my winnings and observations. Finished ~$2500 ahead Martingaling for a week. Cruise Background I wanted to vacation in Vegas this fall, my wife wanted to cruise again, so I spent a few months searching cruise lines, looking for a single zero roulette table with at least an 8-bet min/max spread. As it turns out, there are thirteen cruise ships in the world that fit that profile (that I discovered), and after checking all of them against NovembeDecember departure dates from CONUS, I downselected to the Oasis of the Seas from Royal Caribbean for a 7-Day Caribbean cruise, booked it, and thus it was so! The Game For the duration of this cruise, I played single zero roulette and nothing else. The casino on board the Oasis of the Seas has four roulette tables; two American roulette tables on the smoking side, and one each American/European on the non-smoking side. I use the word "European" loosely because while it was single-zero, it had no European rules on it. All four tables were $5 - $100 on the inside, and $5 - $1000 on the outside. I attempted to make arrangements before the cruise as well as with the casino manager during the cruise to raise the limits for my gambling to no avail since I didn't have an established play history with Club Royale. I also requested La Partage be put into effect during my session play without luck - but that was a long shot anyway; the only single zero table I know of in the US with a minimum bet lower than $25 is the $10 - $3000 La Partage table at the Soaring Eagle in Michigan (sorry guys, terminal games don't count!) Single zero roulette tables have a 2.7% house edge; down from the scandalous 5.4% house edge of American roulette (let alone the scammy triple zero crap that Carnival Cruise lines and the Venetian in Vegas are doing); La Partage lowers it to a magnificent 1.35%, but alas - I was destined to go without. My Bets Most of you are probably familiar with a martingale) series bet. For anyone else; on a $5 - $1000 table, $2,000 can bankroll a 8-bet sequence where I double my bet each time I lose, restarting my bet sequence each win. Due to chip denominations, my martingale progression is $5, $10, $25, $50, $100, $250, $500, $1000, which I find more reasonable than 5/10/20/40/80/160/320/640 due to the typical chip denominations 1/5/25/100/500/1000. In a tip of my hat to superstition, my increases from $10 to $25, $100 to $250, and $1000 to $2500 where applicable are my way of "punishing" the casino for making me leave the comfort zone of the outside minimum bet. Mock me if you must; its my personal flair - if my bets grow that high I "deserve" to win more than my base bet for the stress of having to bankroll the roll. The chances of heads or tails on a coin flip are 50% for either outcome. On a single-zero table without La Partage, the equivalent bets - black/red, even/odd, 1-18/19-36 is ~48.6%, with the other 2.7% representing the green zero, or house edge - creating a theoretical loss probability of 2.7% of your bet per bet over time. While the probability of an individual spin being black or red in my case is ~48.6%, the martingale betting progression ties your bets into a session, such that on the table I'm playing on, as long as I don't guess wrong 8 times in a row, I always win. On the off-chance that any newbs are reading this, this is NOT a "strategy" or "guaranteed way to make money." Martingale betting is a low risk, low reward means of using a large sum of money to win a little sum of money - pretty much the opposite of what people go into casinos to do. In statistical terms, the chances of me guessing wrong 8 times in a row in an 8 spin series is three tenths of one percent...but no one sits down for 8 spins and leaves - so my gambling is that when the house spins my losing sequence...I'm not there. =D Such is gambling. Goals! I've learned over the years that if I don't sit at a table with a fixed goal of when to leave, I will get bored and start making side bets (other even money bets or thirds) - more ways to win also mean more ways to lose, and when I am gambling, I am heavily socializing and drinking; I can't keep track of all of it at the same time. My goal is thus to always leave with 120% of my bankroll. This trip was a bit confusing for me because I couldn't reconcile what my bankroll was. Not knowing whether the table limit would be fixed to $1000, or be able to be raised to $10,000 I brought $5,000 in cash with another $35,000 available as credit - I'd wrongly assumed the casino would at least double the table min/max to $10-$2000, and had been hoping they would leave the minimum and double the maximum, adding a one-bet buffer to my 8-spin series. With a $1,000 bet maximum, I stopped bringing more than $2,000 to the casino. If my bankroll is $2,000, I aim to leave with $2400. If my bankroll is $5,000, I aim to leave with $6,000. With $10,000, I aim to leave with $12,000. I initially hoped to turn $2,000 into $2,400, but after doing that the first night gambling and the prospect of the rest of the cruise being bereft of gambling, I decided that since I'd brought $5,000 to gamble with, even if I could only play with $2,000 of it, my 120% goal meant I wanted $1,000 in winnings or bust. On day two when I realized how stingy Club Royale was, and that I'd be buying my own drinks, I shelled out $360 for the liquor package, and adjusted my winning threshold to also cover the liquor package. Then there was a $300 spa treatment. Then an $1800 studio photography session since my wife wanted some nice pictures - something we've not done in a decade. With these confusing inputs leaving me unsure of how to decide if I was up or down, it came down to the fact that while the casino was generally open 8-12 hours a day, the lone roulette table with the single zero didn't open until 8:00 PM - about when the cruise shows started. I did some begging and pleading to have it opened earlier every day to mixed success - a bit on the first day and on the last day, with nothing in the middle. They really wanted people on the American tables - which I had to resist, since for much of the cruise, it was American roulette or nothing. I contented myself during those periods with drinking, socializing with other gamblers, watching, drinking, and trying to find people who didn't have the booze package so I could buy them drinks. Fun Facts
Over 6 days of gambling, averaging 4 hours per day, I hit the $1,000 table maximum bet twice. Both were heart-attack inducing. The first was at 0100 on day 5, I was the last gambler at the table, $1,000 on red didn't screw me, and I took it as a sign to go to bed. The second happened on Day 6; since a $2,000 loss would have left me break even at that point, I took a short break, stretched my legs, and came back.
In the same period, I hit the $250 bet mark in my progression 4 times (resetting from $250 back to $5), and the $500 bet limit zero times. $100 and below bets were too numerous to count.
Total winnings were probably closer to $2800, but I tip freely when its free money.
Despite my "follow the house" betting method of deciding to bet red or black (which capitalizes on streaks), and I never choose which to bet on, there was one dealer would occasionally call a color, and she was only wrong once. I started switching bets when she'd call a color because it was spooky. If I asked her, most of the time she'd say, "I don't know" - but out of 20-30 "calls" over a week that I saw her spinning for me, she missed one.
If I had the balls to play numbers or neighbor bets, I'd have made tens of thousands; I don't believe in ball control; not on modern wheels, but one dealer put out four 28s in 8 spins, three of them in a row, 7 of the others were neighbor bet winners, and he just kept doing it. He's been a casino dealer 44 years...and kept telling people what number to bet on, and no one would listen to him. God, I wish I had.
I learned to play craps as a backup in case the single zero table was closed, but the craps tables were $5 - $300 with 1x odds, shifting to 3-4-5x with $50 minimum bets. I need to ease into craps, and didn't want to have to track different odds systems, nor did I want to play on a $300 limit table - all my practicing on craps was with 3-4-5x odds on a $5 - $2,000 table, and I have a tendency to double down on everything in every game. And in life too; Losing a 5/15 bet makes me put $20 on the pass line. It gets expensive quickly, so I'm not playing craps with less than $5k, $10k to be comfortable, and I need at least a $2k table.
Actually, all the games were a bit ...less competitive. 6:5 blackjack, 1x craps odds, no Euro rules on the Euro table, crappy slots payouts - I get it; I really do. Captive audience, no need to compete with other casinos. Once they're on board, you've got 'em for a week; they're gonna gamble or they're not.
Club Royale has terrible comps compared to Casinos at Sea with NCL. It takes 2500 points with Club Royale to earn comped drinks while gambling. Not only did Club Royale not buy my drinks this cruise, at the rate of my point earnings, it will take me 4 more cruises gambling at the same rate to earn free drinks. That's right; $10,000+ to get free drinks. I did however come away with an amazing $100 off my next cruise voucher.
Assuming total winnings of $2,800 (before tips), being right 48.6% of the time, I gambled through ~1200 roulette spins in a week.
Anyway; it was a blast - but I'll probably go to Vegas for my next vacation instead of cruising. I want to gamble during the day, and go to shows in the evening, not wander around during the day, then have to decide whether I want to gamble or watch shows in the evening. edit And here's a picture of me at my remote office aboard the cruise ship in case anyone was wondering what your mean old /gambling moderator ShelixAnakasian looks like.
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